Five Christmas parties, church and life crammed into one fantastic weekend.

As I sit at my kitchen table on a Monday morning drinking a cup of coffee I'm able to reflect on this past weekend.  I will say up front that I would do this weekend all over again!  I will be the one waiving my hand in the air with a smile on my face when asked "who would like to host not one, but two Student Ministry Leader Christmas parties?"  Oh, and they are on the same weekend!  Oh, and so is your Women's Bible study Christmas party.  Oh, and so is the Jr High Christmas party (at church).  Oh, and so is the High School Christmas party (at church).....

Ready, set, let's go!

I absolutely love hosting parties at our home.  We have the room, we have a great set up in our basement and we have teenagers we are able to "employ" to "work" the party.  Keeping Emily focused on her job was a challenge as she clearly inherited the gift to gab from me!

Friday: Velocity (High School) Leader Christmas party

The tables and chairs were set up (4 tables, 32 chairs!), the turkey, stuffing and gravy were heating up as people started arriving!  Each person brings either a side dish or desert and of course, a White Elephant gift!  The food was amazing and being able to sit at a table with seven other people who you typically see in spurts because we are interacting with students, was priceless.  What I also love about this group is that we range in ages from 20 something to 40 something.  Some of us are too close to being in the 50 something category but we won't go there.... we'll enjoy the 40 something category!  We all come from different walks of life but the one thing we have in common is we love God and we love high school students.  I know I speak for others as well when I say that 1) I am continually amazed that God would use me to lead students 2) I learn so much from students and to see their passion for God and want to grow in their relationship with Him is amazing 3) To walk along side students in their journey of life with their struggles, their fears, their mistakes, their successes, their failures, their smiles, their love of mission trips, watching them grow from Jr High students to watching them graduate and much more.  So many things that will literally bring you to your knees with joy and sadness, none of us would trade or walk away from.  Each leader, I know, would say that through the good and the bad, the smiles and the tears, we wouldn't miss any of it!!
Sorry, got off on that little tangent, back to the party and now on to the White Elephant exchange!  We gather our chairs and sit in a circle with all the gifts in the middle of the floor.  We each draw a number starting with 1 and ending at 25 and await our turn to choose or gift or steal someone elses!  This game was going along nicely until Zach arrived late and as the last person was to go says, "will this make a difference" and pulls out a Starbucks gift card he brought for the game...... the entire room went silent... what had been a rather nice game suddenly turned.  The love of coffee in this group is unbelievable.  Adam and I were scheming on how we could trade/steal/beg/borrow to get the gift we wanted and that Starbucks card turned us into evil/manipulative people!  Thank goodness it was frozen after three turns!
The party that was to end at 10pm lasted well past 11pm and honestly, could have gone longer.  Such great people, such fun, so many laughs and as I reflect on the night, it makes me realize that we shouldn't wait until the Christmas party to get together as a group..... I see another party being planned in my head!

Saturday: My women's bible study Christmas party

I am fortunate to be part of women's bible study that is truly a family. I believe we've been doing studies together for 3 years.  I say this unknowingly because it feels like we've been together for years!  We came together as a very mixed group in ages from twenties to sixties and everywhere in between!  What a blessing it is to be doing life with women of all ages and life experiences!
One of the ladies in our group is a teacher in Milan, Mi. who spoke to the school guidance counselor about our group adopting a family for Christmas.  We were fortunate to receive a family with 5 children!  We got their "wish list" and the excitement began!  E-mails going between the group of "I'll take this child" "I've got mom covered" "let's add some family gifts also", etc.  On Saturday we arrived at Elise's home to begin our wrapping of gifts!  Listening to the chatter, laughter and the excitement felt in the room was magical!  We were all beaming just picturing their faces Christmas morning!  The parents decided that they didn't want their children to know about the gifts and plan on putting the them under the tree to awaken to Christmas morning!!  I can only imagine the looks on their faces!!  Every item on the family's wish list was purchased and then some!!  Mom, Dad and all five children will have everything they wished for!! 

away we go!

wrapping delight

We loaded the cars and headed to the home of our adopted family.  We stopped at Bob Evans and picked up dinner and pie!  Dad had taken the kids for a drive because of the surprise so we were greeted by mom who is such a sweet lady and couldn't believe the amount of gifts bestowed upon her family.  Clearly overcome with emotion, we all hugged her, told her what a blessing it was to each of us to do this and invited the family to Christmas Eve service.  We then left and headed to our group dinner!  When we arrived at the restaurant, Valerie told us that the Dad had called her, overcome with emotion himself and said that this was more than they could ever had imagined and how thankful that they were.  We all smiled, knowing we had been just as blessed by this event!  I know I speak for us all by saying, I can't imagine life without this group of ladies and I'm incredibly thankful for what they mean to me!

Thankful for these ladies and the ones that couldn't make it!

Sunday: Three parties in one day!  Wha hoo!

What better way to start off your Sunday morning than with 6th, 7th and 8th graders than lots and lots of sugar, games, music and overall fun?!!  Our junior high group at church is called Rustproof and I have the honor of leading a group of 8th grade girls who I've had since they were in 6th grade!  It has been such a pleasure watching them grow, change, mature, struggle with life, etc.   I love each of them as if they were my own and tend to fuss at them from time to time like they are!  Unfortunately for them I'm not one of the cool high school leaders but they continue to return week after week so it works!!

 

We left church and headed home for:

Rustproof Leader Christmas party!!

Thankfully we had Friday night to use as a guide for this leader's party!  We had 28-29 leaders descend upon our home with appetizers, sides and deserts!  Again with our turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes and gravy, we enjoyed spending some quality time with each other that we typically don't get to have.  The great thing about Rustproof is we have adult leaders and high school leaders.  To listen to the high school leaders talk about what an impact it's been on them to lead is so nice.  To be in the midst of their own high school struggles, peer issues, etc, they have a heart to make a difference in a younger students life!  I can't tell you what a heart warming thing this is to see and to hear.  We had our White Elephant game and this was a bit intense!  There were definitely "prized" gifts people wanted and many were "stolen" from each other until they were frozen!  Who knew that someone elses "stuff" could be anothers treasure! 

And then it was time to head to:

Velocity High School Christmas party!!

This was the only Sunday in the month of December that the high school group met. It was another party filled with lots and lots of sugar in the form of cookies and hot chocolate!  There was a DJ, games, worship and a talk.  There are a couple of hundred students that come to Velocity on Sunday nights.  Why this is an amazing thing is because these students have to want to come.  It's every Sunday evening so there isn't a parent saying, "come on, we're going to church!"  They want to come and learn about this guy we call God and how He can help them through their life filled with doubt, peer pressure, confusion, happiness, accomplishments, etc.  Tim Tebow his huge right now.  You've heard about him unless you live under a rock, and in that case, you probably wouldn't be reading this.... Tim is vocal about his faith in God and for a high schooler to see that makes a huge impact when it's so easy to fall off track.  I've been fortunate to lead a group of 11th grade girls that I've lead since they were in 7th grade!  I'm thankful to be part of each of their lives and to hopefully make a small impact.  I tell people that I've learned more from them than they will ever know and I'm forever thankful that God put our group together!  It was no mistake!

I will finish up with a video I took.  I was talking to someone, turned around and a line dance was taking place.... only in our church!!  I will say that although the parties were fantastic and spending time with other leaders was great, the end was the best.  When I got home Eric was reading in the living room.  I sat down and we started talking.  One by one, each girl came downstairs at different times.  We ended up having great conversations and laughs!  I remember thinking, "This is what it's all about.  Family"  So from my own family to my church family, I am forever thankful for each of you and what you bring to my life.  I am a better person because of each one of you.

http://youtu.be/FSJw4npq7GA

Sarah wins 2011 Pennsylvania National Children's Jumpers!

I want to start by saying that Sarah never had the desire to do Jumpers.  It was too "fast" for her.  She was content with doing Hunters and Equitation.  That is, until the girls started training with Aaron Vale and Sarah met and fell in love with Vigo.  It wasn't love at first sight though.  Vigo arrived in Lexington, Ky by way of Europe in May of 2011.  Fresh off the truck, Aaron put Lizzie on him.  That didn't turn out very well.  He then told Sarah to get on Vigo.  Sarah, never one to talk back (to anyone other than her mother!) got on Vigo and was in the schooling ring.  I was standing at the top of the hill and happened to look down at the ring just in time to see Vigo standing on his hind legs and Sarah going straight to the ground!!  Oh my heart!  I hopped on my golf cart, sped to the schooling ring as fast as the rental golf cart would go!!  Aaron was on Vigo, Sarah saw me and came to the cart.  We didn't speak.  I've learned as the mom of three riders not to say anything but observing that she was in fact, ok.  She got back on Vigo and they showed.  Sarah would get dumped off two additional times by Vigo that weekend.  We leased Vigo at the shows the rest of the summer and Sarah was winning and checking her standings.  She announced to Aaron that she wanted to take Vigo to finals.  He smiled and said "ok!"  Sarah ended up qualifying for Harrisburg, Pennsylvania and Washington, DC!!  They take the top 30 riders in the country and Sarah was one of them!  She ended up winning Pennsylvania which was so incredibly exciting!!  We went to Washington two weeks later and she ended up having the first rail down.  That is horse showing for you!  Up on minute and down the next!  But it keeps you humble and that is a good thing!  Here is Sarah's winning round at Pennsylvania!

Suicide and the affects it has on many.

October 1, 2011 will forever be remembered in a sad way.  That evening, I received a phone call saying that a Alain Giannone had taken his life that morning.  Alain was from Portugal, worked for our trainer and was like a big brother to Emily, Sarah and Lizzie.  I became friends with his mom Sharon via Facebook and we chatted often.  Alain referred to me as his American mom and the girls as his little sisters.  At shows, he was protective of the girls and made sure guys didn't flirt too much with them!!  He was a talented rider and his smile lit up a room!

Alain Giannone

To say the girls were devastated is an understatement.  Alain was 28 so he was old enough to give them "brotherly advice" yet young enough hang with them and not embarrass them! :)

The girls couldn't understand why Alain would do this, they wondered if they had talked to him more often, maybe he wouldn't have killed himself.  So many things they didn't understand.  I was sad and then I was angry.  I was angry that he did this and how it affected so many people.  The other part of my brain knew that there were obviously more demons following him than most knew.  I was angry that I had to tell my daughters that someone dear to them had taken his life.  I was angry when I had to make the phone call to Emily and tell her and then listen to her cry.  I was angry when Lizzie lay in her bed crying saying she didn't understand and how much it hurt.  I was angry when the reality hit Sarah and held her when she cried.  I was angry when I thought of his mother.... knowing her heart had been ripped out.  I was angry but knew I had to forgive him because I didn't want to be consumed by the anger.

On the Wednesday after Alain died, my phone rang and when I looked at the long list of numbers, I knew it was his mother Sharon.  Hearing her voice almost dropped me to my knees.  The heart of a mother, while not knowing the full extent of the pain, understands the pain.  Sharon said that she wanted me to know how much Alain thought of me and the girls.  How he spoke of the girls and their riding and that he always referred to me as "mom" and the girls as his little sisters.  I will forever be grateful of that phone call.  It meant so much to me.

Emily, Sarah and Lizzie all went to Ocala, Florida to Alain's Celebration of Life.  Sarah and Lizzie were already scheduled to go and ride that weekend and Emily drove in from Georgia.  I had mixed emotions of them going because of how raw their feelings still were but knew that it would be important in the closure for them.  Although it was not how they had wanted to meet Alain's parents and brother, they were thankful they did.

I know that Alain is watching the girls and is smiling.  I know that he is no longer in pain.  Of course I wish I had known or had some inkling of an idea, we all do.  Suicide takes on a life (death) of it's own.  It consumes the person, the pain they feel is so real and they just want their pain to end.  What they don't realize is the pain so many feel because of it.  Lives are forever changed, families will never be the same, the lives they touched will now have a void.

I think of Alain often and I am so sad that his life was cut short.  But I'm thankful for the year and a half we knew him!  It was a good season!  We will see you again.

September 2011

Ritz Carlton on Lake Oconee

Ritz Carlton on Lake Oconee

I can't believe it's been since the end of August that I last blogged!  So much has happened and I will try to get you caught up!  September is always the "school is starting" month and the beginning of Indoors for the girls with their riding.  Coordinating both is fun and exciting with a bit of stress thrown in for good measure!  Emily started her second year of college in August.  Eric and I were fortunate to be able to drive down with her and spend a few days prior to moving her in at a resort on the lake not far from her school.  It was nice to spend that time with her with an added bonus of a Wal-Mart run for apartment supplies.  In case you were wondering, a Wal-Mart is a Wal-Mart is a Wal-Mart.... no matter where you are...

Eric and his girls!

The end of September was Kentucky Nationals which Sarah and Lizzie competed in.  This was also Maclay Regionals where they would compete in hopes of going on to Maclay Finals.  Both girls did qualify!  They were on their way to Finals!  At this particular horse show, there is also a Zone 5 Sportsmanship Class which Lizzie was Reserve Champion!  This class has 3 phases; a written, a jumping and a flat phase.  Lizzie missed Champion by a fraction of a point!  There's always next year!

Lizzie Reserve Champion Zone 5 Sportsmanship Class

German Citizens!!

We have just arrived home from Chicago.  Eric, Sarah, Lizzie and I went to the German Consulate today so that they could be naturalized as German citizens.  I've had several people ask my why so here is the story.

Eric's father was born in Germany and lived there until he was 3 years old.  Their family was forced to leave by the Nazis.  They were stripped of their citizenship and had to leave on a boat with whatever belongings they could carry with them.  Eric's grandfather was a lawyer in Germany.  When they arrived in the USA, they moved to Boston.  Speaking no English whatsoever, Ludwig (Eric's grandfather) put himself through law school while working to support his wife and two small sons.  Ludwig became a lawyer in the USA and he worked for many years helping Germans in the USA retrieve what money, property, etc they had in Germany.  He was even paid with a painting that my in-laws still have.  

About a year ago, Eric was reading some articles and one was about ways to get a second citizenship.  He found information that showed that the German government was trying to right the wrong of many years past.  Since the family's citizenship had been taken from them, there was now the opportunity to restore it to current family members.  If a family left on their own, this did not apply to them.  Eric talked to his father about this and after getting copies and information, Eric contacted the German Consulate.  Eric and the girls were able to become citizens of Germany, having dual citizenship.  This process took about a year to complete, only because a few months went by where nothing was done on our end because "life" got busy!!  

What does this mean for us?  Eric, Sarah, Lizzie and Emily will be able to live in Germany and the EU countries.  They are able to work, the girls can go to college (free)!  When the girls have children of their own, they will automatically be German citizens as well.  What does this mean for me?  I get to tag along..... !!  It won't be as easy for me, but I'm thrilled for them!  I was told today that I can easily get a green card if I wanted!!  

When we sat at the table with the lady and she said, "When I hand you these papers, you will be German citizens, congratulations to you"  I don't think that the girls realized what a huge thing it was and exactly what it meant and even the meaning behind why they were able to get it.  Much heartache had to happen for them to receive it.  

Emily's paperwork was sent to the Atlanta Consulate and she will go there to receive her Citizenship.  Because she is over 18, she can do this on her own.  

We went and had lunch and Sarah said, "We an go buy horses in Europe now!"  She wants to learn German so we'll see how that goes!!  


So it was a big day for us! 

 

Week of chaos and calm!

It is Tuesday morning as I sit at the kitchen table with coffee in hand scouring Facebook, catching up on the birthday greetings and doing my usual "research"!

 Emily is currently in Bogota, Colombia on a mission trip.  She returns home tomorrow evening and then flies out Thursday morning for Saugerties for a horse show!  She will return home on August 7th and then leave some time that week for college!  Oh the summer she's had!  So happy that she has had some great experiences that will last a lifetime!  I cannot wait to hear about Colombia!!

Myself, Sarah and Lizzie will leave this Saturday for a mission trip in Jamaica.  We will be flying into Montego Bay and driving for 2 hours before reaching our destination.  We will be doing a Vacation Bible School so our teams are preparing for this!  I am so excited to see how God will use each of us!  I'm going on this trip with my heart and mind open!  As with any of my other trips, I'm in "focus" mode in regards to packing but this trip brings a bit of heightened awareness.  If we forget something, we aren't just running to Wal-Mart to get it!!  So with this in mind, I'm trying to mentally remember all that is needed!  I've already told my family that if I'm on edge, chalk it up to the preparation!  But then I thought to myself that I'm preparing for a mission trip which should be a time of happiness.... so I'm really, really working hard to stay focused and in a happy state of mind!!

Not only will my two daughters be on this trip with me, two of my small group girls will be with me as well!  I've been their leader since 8th grade and they are currently entering their Jr year of high school!  It will be such a great experience on it's own, but to share it with my daughters and two girls I've been close to the past three years will add to the great memories!  We have a group of 20 high schoolers and 6 adult leaders on the team.  This is such a solid group!

There will be a daily blog for our trip:
prayingpelicans.org
Click on Trip Journals at the top, then Current Trips.  Ours will be NorthRidge Church July 30, 2011

Please keep up with what we are doing there!

Sharon

Who am I to lead these young ladies?

I have had the immense honor of leading a group of young ladies at our church.  Two in fact!  I am often in awe of how God would use me, an ordinary woman, learning along side them about our Creator.  I know for a fact that I've learned more from them than they have from me! 


 My first group, currently going into 11th grade (so hard to believe!) were mere 8th graders when we first sat on the floor together and got to know each other.  We would get roughly 30 minutes to talk about the "talk", all the while, creating a bond that has seen us through boys, school, life, death, sports, etc.  We've been on retreats together, day mission trips, sleepovers, dinners before Velocity (high school ministry), we've laughed together, we've cried together and we've prayed for each other.  They are some of the most selfless girls I've met!   Their love for others blows me away.  They have endured my TV rants:  Teen Mom, 16 and Pregnant, Jersey Shore, Secret Life of the American Teenager, just to name a few.   They put up with me when I go into "mom" mode!  We talk about how hard it is to be a Christian teenager.  They know this all too well each day when they walk into their school.  They want to do the right thing, they want to step out and be different, not to follow the crowd.  Is it easy?  Not at all.  Will they or have they made mistakes, wrong choices?  Sure some have, but the thing that I hope they remember is that as a group, we love each other unconditionally.  They know that we won't judge each other but encourage and lift each other up.  We all fall sometimes, but it helps to know who will be there to brush your knees off and hug you.  I am so thankful that I was chosen to be a small part of their lives.  I look forward to continuing to watch them grow in life!!


My other group are some amazing soon to be eighth graders!  I got them as mere 6th graders and again, the conversations we will have about life, God, etc continue to blow me away!   They are not shy in group and not afraid to give their thoughts.  I love that we offer a place where they can feel comfortable enough to say what they think and ask questions.  This is also a group of young ladies that have a heart for others.  They want to help, they go on mission trips, they attend day mission trips etc.  I love that at their age, they can see the need of thinking of others!

My soon to be 8th graders!

Summer 2011

We are in the middle of the summer and WOW! it’s almost over!

Emily finished her Freshman year at the University of Georgia and what an event that was!!  Your freshman year in college automatically comes with it’s share of bumps and bruises and Emily did not dodge that bullet!  The year ended on a positive note and she is returning in the fall so I’d say that Eric and I scored a big one!!  Of course it helps when your child calls home and is stressed about school, college life, etc and isn’t sure where she should be or wants to be and you say, (in the most loving voice) “Honey, coming home is NOT an option.”  It also helps that at the time said phone call takes place, you are reading Tim Emore’s book The iY Generation.  Timing is everything in life!  We also said to Emily “you need to get a job for the summer” which conveniently turned into “I need to continue riding because I’m on the Team at school so how about I take my sisters to shows and you can pay me”  The phrase “caught between a rock and a hard place” comes to mind…..  We’ll see if she puts “Nanny” on her resume!  Also, like most Freshman, Emily has changed her major roughly 4 times.  I don’t think I’m going to put in print what she is thinking of majoring in because I feel certain it will change…. again….  It’s been great having her home for the summer, but we can also feel that her life is changing and she is spreading her wings.  So happy for her and yet, a bit selfish.  The little girl that was happy to be at home and hang out with her family is now feeling the itch to go, go, go!   The song “My Wish” by Rascal Flatts comes to mind….

Emily on J-Wow who was sold after this show!

                                          

Sarah is currently in Chicago!  She was nominated by some of her teachers to be part of a National Youth Leadership Forum  http://www.nylf.org/overview.cfm  and she is there for the Medicine program.  She will be there for 10 days and looking at the schedule, they have them going from 7am until 10pm each night!  They do get one day to go to the Magnificent Mile and spend half the day there and then another day at Six Flags.  Sarah wants to go into Medicine but of course she isn't sure exactly what she wants to do so she will have the opportunity to hear about and participate in many different things.  She also gets 2 college credits so that's a Bonus!!  Sarah has had a great time horse showing.  She has Emily's Equitation horse Gregor and after a "getting to know you" phase over the winter, they are turning into a lovely team!  Sarah is qualified for the USEF Hunt Seat Medal and the Maclay and is looking forward to finals!  She has also been doing jumpers and is loving that!  This is the girl who said she would never do jumpers because they go too fast!  She continues to amaze us!

Sarah winning WIHS/NAL Child Jumpers on Vigo

Lizzie is currently in Morehead, N. Carolina on a mission trip!  She, along with 65+ students and 20+ leaders are helping to rebuild homes!  I'm so glad to see that she is up on a roof, those skills could come in handy at some point with our roof!!  This is her second year to attend this trip, thankful for it!

Lizzie working on a roof (pink shirt)

Lizzie is also having a great time horse showing!  She got an Equitation horse in February and is 1 point shy of qualifying for Maclay finals.  She has until the end of August so we're keeping our fingers crossed!  If not, there is always next year!  Lizzie has also been doing jumpers and is in love with it!  Since she was 5, she has always talked about doing jumpers and going "fast"!  She has lofty goals and it will be fun to go on this journey with her!

Lizzie on Ashton (App For That)

I end this with a picture of all three girls doing what they love which is competing!  We are thankful that they have the opportunity to do this amazing sport.  We are also thankful for their hearts and balancing their life with mission trips.  It's so important to Eric and I that they have a balance!

Sarah, Emily and Lizzie

To The Women in My Circle

When I was little, I used to believe in the concept of one best friend and then I started to become a woman.
Then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up it will show you the best in many friends.
One friend’s best is needed when you’re going through things with your guy.  Another friend’s best is needed when you’re going through things with your Mom.
Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt, joke or just be.  One friend will say “Let’s pray together”, another “Let’s walk away together…”
One friend will meet your spiritual needs, another your shoe fetish, another your love for movies, another will be with you in your season of confusion, another will be your clarifier, another the wind beneath your wings…  But whatever the assignment in your life, on whatever occasion, on whatever the day, or whenever you need them to meet you with their gym shoes and hair pulled back or to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself… those are your best friends.
It may all be wrapped up in one woman, but for many it’s wrapped up in several.  One from 7th grade, one from high school, several from the college years, a couple from old jobs, several from church; on some days it’s your mother, on others your sister, and on some days it’s the one that you needed just for that day or week - that you needed someone with a fresh perspective, or the one who didn’t know your baggage, or the one who would just listen without judging… they are good girlfriends/bestfriends.  Men are wonderful, husbands are excellent, boyfriends are awesome, male friends are priceless… but if you’ve ever had a real good friend, then you know there’s nothing like her.
Thank you God, for girlfriends.. those who honor your intimacy, those who honor trust, and those who just guide you back when you feel like life is just too heavy.  The special bond we share, that’s unique to us.  The words we’ve shared.  The prayers we’ve sent up.  The laughter, the tears, the phone calls, the e-mails, the shopping, the movies, the lunches, the dinners, the late night talks, afternoon talks, the weekend talks, all the talking, talking, talking and listening, listening, listening.
Thank you for being in my circle.

Happy Birthday Dad

Happy Birthday Dad.
Today my dad would be 67 years old.  So hard to believe it’s been 13 years since he passed away.  I would like to think that he is up in heaven chasing women and out on a boat wearing sunglasses with a huge smile on his face!!
 He was 54 when he died, far too young.  His lifestyle caught up with him.  His demon (the bottle) got the better of him.  I get angry at times because he missed out on seeing his granddaughters grow up.  Emily was 5, Sarah 19 mos and Lizzie 2 weeks.  I have pictures of him with Emily, oh how he loved that girl!  Sarah made him laugh even in the short time she was around him.  I took Lizzie as a newborn in her carrier to the hospital to see him.  I know he was proud even as he was dying.  I remember being so angry that he chose this path but also knew that the path was bigger and stronger than him.
 I wish he could see the girls and how they’ve grown into beautiful young ladies and see the accomplishments they’ve done so far.  I know that his big wonderful smile would never leave his face!
I went through a file this morning of some of his papers, birth certificate, baby book, army info and finally his death certificate.  When I looked at it I noticed my signature on it.  I’m certain I was numb because I don’t remember signing it but it makes me sad to see my signature on my dad’s death certificate.
As I was getting ready this morning I asked God to tell my dad happy birthday and that I love him. 

Emerge 2010

Emerge 2010 I had the pleasure of being a part of Emerge 2010.  Emerge is a retreat for High School students looking to grow their relationship with God.   I am in awe of many of these students.  Some come because a friend invited them, some because their parents signed them up, some because it’s a weekend away from home, some because of that cute boy/girl and some because they know they will get an entire weekend getting filled with some great talks, tons of fun and worship music that honestly, while performed by volunteers, would put any recording artist to shame!
The band heads up Friday mid-morning to set up and prepare themselves for two charter buses filled with students and adult leaders!  As an adult leader, I prepare myself for little sleep and camp food!  I open my heart to allow God to use me.  I open my heart to allow God to work on me.
Friday night we arrive about 8:45pm.  Students looking for their bags in the dark is always an adventure!  Someone always ends up with another persons “black trashbag”, no matter how decorated it is!  We get settled in our cabins, make our little home away from home and head out to our first session!
I had one of my regular small group girls on this trip and was assigned some new faces!  Another leader and I chose to combine our groups.  I knew that I was meant to step out of my comfort zone this weekend.  I will tell you that the leader I combined with is WONDERFUL but very different than me.  To be 100% honest, she isn’t someone that I would normally feel drawn to lead with.  She and I are so different and so are our girls.  Or so I thought….  When she and I were texting, “I’m ok with combining, how about you?”, “I can do whatever works” etc.  I heard God say “yes, combine” so I text back, “let’s combine!”  I will tell you, listening to God was THE BEST thing I did.  Not only are we incredibly similar, I learned from her that I need to push my girls more.  I learned from her that it’s ok to continually ask the tough questions.  I learned that our girls are very much alike and the one common ground is their love of God. They also share their fears, their insecurities, their laughter, etc.  Combining our group was the best thing for me and for our girls.  We tend to get into our “group” and not allow others in when in reality, we learn so much from each other.  Christiane, thank you for who you are and for what you do.  Thank you for your fierce loyalty to your girls and to all the students in Velocity.  Thank you for your energy and the humor you bring.  Thank you for allowing me to learn and grow this weekend.
Saturday is the biggest day.  We have a morning session, worship, breakout sessions, lunch and then about 4 hours of free time/activities.  I usually do activities but decided that I wanted to hang out with students.  I did do the zip line with 4 girls in our group and had the best time!  I played Sequence with a girl that had never played before (thinking it would be an easy win for me, she was quite challenging!)  I watched one of my girls participate in Paintball.  I took my camera and got some fun pics!  I was allowed in the game wearing a “yellow” mask which told the players not to shoot at me.  I was still fearful for my life!  I was fortunate enough to get to know some leaders better which is always a bonus!  I was able to talk to a 10th grade student named David who told me that he listens to Dave Ramsey, saves his money when he wants to purchase something and doesn’t want to be in debt as an adult.  I’d love to meet his parents and give them a big hug for raising an incredibly responsible young man!
Saturday night we go back for another session after dinner and get to listen to the best Worship music ever!  The band that came for the weekend pour their hearts into what they do.  For all but one of them, this is what they do on the side.    They do all of this because God has given them an amazing talent and they chose to share that talent with 85+ students and leaders.  It was a weekend commitment that they chose to do.  They could have stayed home and spent time with their family/friends or working or studying or whatever else they have to do!  I am certain that if you were to ask any of them, they will tell you that they were blessed.  They will tell you that they were thrilled to have had the opportunity to do what they did.  This is just the kind of people they are.  I am thankful and I thank each one of them; Josh, Katy, Drew, Tommy, Ben and Justin.  Thank you for your hard work!
It was great to see God work in the lives of these students.  To listen to them talk about how they wanted to make a difference.  They want to stand apart from the crowd.  They want to help the hurting.  They want to be role models.  They want to be an example in their walk.  They don’t want to try and convince their friends to “Get Jesus”, they want people to look at them and say, “hey, they’re different, I wonder why?”
As I leave the retreat completely exhausted, I always think, “I can’t wait until the next one!”  When I return home I’m thankful for not having to wear flip flops in the shower.  I’m thankful for my bed.  I’m thankful to no longer eat the food there.  I am thankful for strong coffee.  But I have to tell you, I’d do it all again next week-end!

Eric and his appendix

It is currently 12:12am as I sit down to type this.  I got home from the hospital about 11:30pm to chat with Lizzie for a few minutes and eat some of her leftover Chinese food.
My husband, whom I love ever so dearly, had his appendix removed this evening.  Eric is 48 years old and has NEVER had surgery before.  We have been married for 21 years (in November) and the man has basically been a picture of health.  Apparently last night his stomach started bothering him.  What else do you do when that happens?  You eat a bowl of cereal!  This didn’t seem to do the trick so he went to bed and was awaken at 2am with severe lower abdominal pain.  What do you do when this happens?  You get up and google “severe abdominal pain” and you quickly rule out appendix because your symptoms don’t match with the Mayo Clinic!  Ok… (thank God for the internet right?!)  Now keep in mind that I’ve slept quite peacefully and had NO idea he was having a sleepless night.  This morning he didn’t look so good, but he had just gotten up so I was cutting him some slack.  He  told me about his night (thank you God for allowing me to be a sound sleeper!) and I said, “Well let’s get you to the ER”  I think what he heard was, “Well let’s cut your body in half” because he said, “no, I just need to lie down”  After taking the girls to school and returning home (side note: at the light turning onto our street the car in front of me was just sitting there when the light had turned green so I honked, only to follow the car INTO my subdivision and find out it was my neighbor!  A sorry email was quickly sent), Eric was sitting at the kitchen table and said, “maybe I need some coffee”.  I’m no rocket scientist but hmm….  after taking a few sips he went to bed.  I went into our room and told him we were going to the doctor.  He of course had to take a shower.  By the time we got to the doctor is was about 10am.  At about noon they called me back and told me that I was to take him directly to the Emergency room because they couldn’t rule out appendix.  How could the internet have been wrong???  So off we go to the ER.  Let me now say that I loathe the ER.  We arrived at 12:30pm and after all was said and done, we got back to the real ER at 6pm.  I would like to add that Eric did have to drink 4 glasses of something each half hour starting at 2pm so that did take some time.  They gave him some pain meds and it was magical how happy he became!  Now when they wore off….  he might have resembled a drug addict!  The resident surgeon came and saw us and told us that it was in fact an appendicitis and that he would be having surgery at approx 10pm (this was 7pm).  I was thinking that I would go home, spend some time with the girls, etc and the next thing we knew they said that people said they would stay and do his surgery and off he was!  He was like a movie star being escorted to a premier!  He went into surgery around 8:45pm and the doctor came and talked to me about 10:10pm.  She said it all went well but when they got in the appendix was “grey” and “deadlike” so it was about to rupture.  It was good that they caught it!  I am truly thankful for that!
Here are some memorable moments from today:
After Eric got his first pain shot and was sitting in a chair with his legs propped up:
Eric: “oh my gosh, as soon as my head quit spinning, this is the best feeling ever”
    ”hey, I was going to ask you something but I forgot”
   “hey, if it’s my appendix, do you think they can do it laprascopy?”
  ”this is really good stuff… you might find me wandering Detroit looking for this”
Honestly, I was just praying he would stop talking and sleep!  The pain meds started to wear off…..
  ”wow, I really need some medication”
  ”I’m starting to feel like I did before the medication and that wasn’t a good feeling”
  ”Sharon, you need to tell them that I need some meds”
I gently reminded him about the lady in the room next to us that had literally been crying for HOURS in pain.  I am not kidding.  I felt so sorry for them.  She and her husband had been there since before us and she was crying so hard.   He reminded me that HE was in pain.  I ignored him.
When we got back to what I call the “real” ER, it was all business.  Two guys, I’m not sure what they were called but they weren’t doctors but they did all the prep work came in and were really quite funny!  Eric was shooting his one liners right back at them and they were all having a great time until they left and he had told them that the meds had worn off and he was in pain again.
“Sharon, listen to them, they are out there talking, laughing and having a great time and I’m in pain”
Me:  ”Eric, until you’ve given birth to three children and had an ectopic pregnancy that resulted in surgery, I don’t want to hear how bad your pain is.”
Eric:  ”But I’m in pain right now and all they have to do is bring me the medicine”
Me: “this might be a lesson in patience.  It could have been worse.  It is your appendix.  Big deal, you don’t need it anyway!  We are not promised a life without difficulties so be thankful that this is all it is.  Stop complaining about it, it could be a lot worse.”
This seemed to make him pause for a second.  It reminded me that we are not promised a life without trials or struggles.  We need to remember that there is someone else who is hurting or struggling more than we are.  We need to look at the situation and see it for what it is.  An appendix?  What the heck does it do for us anyway?  Nothing but possibly give us some trouble and surgery to have it removed!  It’s not cancer.  Thank you God!  So many things to be thankful for so instead of thinking “why me?”  we need to think “Thank you God, it could’ve been worse”
On a side note, Eric’s fever spiked before surgery and in the recovery room he got quite sick and freaked out.  He later told me that he might not have been so nice.  I’m sure they understood!  They told me where he would be after recovery so I went there.  When they wheeled him into the room he said, “Are the girls here?”  I said, “No, they are at home” and he said, “Ok, I don’t want them to see me like this.”  The nurse that had him in recovery looked at me, put her hand to her heart and about lost it!  She mouthed, “that was so sweet”
He is.  I’m thankful that he is my husband and the father of my girls and that he takes such good care of us!  I’m not sure what kind of nurse I’ll be…. I’m afraid I’m not a very good one.  Hopefully that won’t be another blog.
Arriving at the hospital Wednesday morning:
Eric looks so much better!  He was telling me that he was up and going to the bathroom and was walking down the hall with the IV thing only to have walked all the way with his “friend” and realized that he wasn’t hooked up to an IV!!!  That must have been a sight!
The doctor came in and talked about the surgery.  She said she was amazed at how bad the appendix was (but hadn’t ruptured) and how high his fever was right before going into surgery.  She said that when he came out of recovery, apparently he was trying to get off the bed and telling people to “stay away from him”!  She said he at one point started swinging!  Eric just laughed as he had no recollection of this!  She said, “We see it a lot, especially in men”!
Some more memorable moments:
I went to the pharmacy to get Eric’s Vicodin perscription and wow, this hospital is amazing!   The gift shop is UNBELIEVABLE, the coffee shop is AMAZING!  They have a spa and salon…… had I only known sooner!  I did buy some hand lotion because I’m sure hand lotion from the hospital is so much better right?!  When I got back to Eric’s room I gave him the prescription and told him it was $3.  His response, “Did you tell them we’ll take a lot more at that price?”
Talked with Emily and had some fun conversation.
Emily: “How’s dad feeling?”
Me: “Oh he’s fine”
Eric: (in the background) “Emily don’t listen to her, the only reason I’m fine is because I’m on Vicodin.  I’m not fine I had surgery last night”
Emily: “Mom, be nice to dad when you get him home.  When he asks for tea, get it for him, don’t leave it in the microwave like you would do with me.”  (I think I see some therapy in her future!)
Emily: “Mom, don’t tell dad where my Vicodin is”
Me: “You have Vicodin?”
Emily: “Yes mom, when I went to the hospital for my back and they gave it to me but I never took it but don’t let Dad know!”
Me: “I don’t even know where it is”
Emily: “I think it’s on the table next to your bed.”
*I feel this conversation is wrong on so many levels!!

Changes...

What a crazy summer this has been!  I knew this summer was going to go fast, I was just hoping for a slower speed!
School ended, horse showing started, Emily’s grad party and then graduation.  Did I mention horse showing?  Em going to UGA for Orientation, horse showing, oh, and more horse showing!  In between all this, volunteering at church which keeps me so grounded.
Taking a step back and seeing changes start to happen in our family relationships, family dynamics, etc.  I saw a shift between Emily with Sarah and Lizzie.  She mentioned to me that she felt that over the summer they were becoming better friends.  They spent more time away from each other this summer and I think that made a big impact as well.  I saw friendship relationships change and grow, going off to college makes you realize and appreciate things in a different way.  I know this is going to sound strange but I think that the hardest part of Em leaving for college was the day that she and Hannah had their last goodbye.  We have often wondered if we should claim Hannah on our taxes — this might give you some idea of the relationship!  I do believe the tears lasted an hour or more and it was heartwrenching.  Change is not always bad, it does make you realize who and what is important in your life.
Another change, Sarah started Drivers Ed!  Wow, that middle, somewhat quiet child will soon have her permit and will be bugging me to drive!!  Sarah and her friend Kristen have enjoyed the summer decorating Kristen’s basement and decided that our TV room needed some changing.  So together they drew a plan and got the IKEA catalog and presented ideas and prices to Eric.  He was quite impressed and when Kristen returns from Italy, our TV room will be transformed!
I had the pleasure of spending some quality time with Lizzie at our last horse show in Kentucky.  With Em in college and Sarah driving, it was just Lizzie and I off to the horse show!  What a great time hanging out with her and watching her master Mallory’s motorbike!  And watching her ride and hearing her little 6 year old voice say to me while watching the jumpers “Mom, I want to do that.  I want to go fast and feel the wind blow through my hair”  And seeing her do it and knowing it’s what she loves!
Ahh changes will happen and we need to embrace it and know that we are along for the ride.  As my friend Christine said to me quoting her mother, “God knows my journey, I’m along for the ride, I am His Soldier” 

A Funny Thing Happned - Update

When I decided to start blogging, I found this “A funny thing happened” email that I had sent to family and friends and felt that it was important to share.  The thing that was so hard to believe was that it was 4 years ago!  I’d like to fill you in on what has happened since then.  Through our Ride for the Ribbon, and the many people that help support it, we’ve helped to raise money for Breast Cancer Research.  To date, Stefanie’s fund has raised over $7million dollars!
I have to tell you the impact that Stefanie Spielman had on my life.  I met Stefanie when we moved to Columbus, Ohio in 1997.  Stefanie and I both joined a women’s group that raised money for the local Children’s Hospital.  Shortly after, (in 1998) Stefanie was diagnosed with Breast Cancer.  For all the information, you can go to http://cancer.osu.edu/waystogive/about/funds/spielman/Pages/index.aspx
and please watch the video that was shown at this past luncheon.  Many of you may know Chris Spielman who played for Ohio State and then went on to play for the Detroit Lions.  Chris retired after Stefanie was diagnosed.  He said, “What kind of husband would I be if I didn’t stick to my vows, in sickness and in health?”  He knew the importance of family and commitment.  Chris and Stefanie went on to establish The Stefanie Spielman Fund because Stefanie knew that they shouldn’t keep this quiet, they had a mission to accomplish.  Stefanie and Chris went on to have 2 more children during this fight.  Their four children are so amazing.  Maddie, their oldest who just turned 16 rides horses and we were at the same barn so we became family friends.  After Stefanie was diagnosed, I, along with my friend Kathy Brown started Ride for the Ribbon.  Horse shows hold a class and all or a portion of the proceeds go to Stefanie’s fund.
I have to tell you that the Spielman family has such an amazing relationship with God.  Their faith is what has carried them through this ordeal.  Stefanie would say, “I’m not afraid to die because I know where I am going.”  And she used this to share her faith with others.  This is a family that you look at and you know that their faith is so incredibly important.  Stefanie told her children, “Don’t use my death as an excuse to  keep you from doing things, let it push you to do great  things”  Their family and their faith in God always inspired me and I would look at Stefanie with such admiration, courage, hope and I have to tell you that my prayer to God was, “please let Stefanie be a miracle, heal her God and let people know what you can do.”  In the end, Stefanie was His and she was put here on earth to do many things.  And she did.  She was such an example of faith.  When Emily was quite young, she said to me, “Mom, I think Mrs. Spielman is an angel put here on earth for us to learn from.”  She was so right.  My dear friend passed away on November 20, 2009.  Eric and I were in Mexico celebrating our 20 yr anniversary when my friend Kathy sent me an email letting me know Stef had passed.  I cannot tell you the sadness I felt on many levels.  Stefanie was such a dear friend and such an example of what a mother, a wife and a follower of God should be and I will forever miss her.  When Eric and I were flying home from Mexico and I was on the plane praying for Stef, I heard the words: “Job well done my faithful servant, job well done”  and I knew that she was right where she should be which was right beside God and she was completely healed and no longer in pain.  How can one not rejoice that?!  I went to her funeral in Columbus, which was truly a celebration of her life.  That is a family that completely trusts God and knows that Stefanie is in such a better place.  I am in awe of this family and their faith. 

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Doctor

Written July 2006

I want to start out by saying that in no way do I think that breast cancer is funny but I didn’t know how else to title this and I always throw humor into things so here goes……. I’ve been getting mammograms since I was 35.  Why?  Breast Cancer runs in my family and the true wake-up call for me was having just met Stefanie Spielman and several months later she was diagnosed at age 30 with 2 small children.  Why her and why not me???  If it could happen to her, it could surely happen to me.
So every year like clockwork, I went in and did my duty and got my “you’re okay” letter in the mail several weeks later. We moved to Ann Arbor when it was getting time for the annual “visit”, immediately started horseshowing and never made the appointment.  Instead, I created Ride for the Ribbon which donates money to The Stefanie Spielman Fund for Breast Cancer Research.  That should get some points right?  I’m busy helping get money to find a cure for goodness sakes!!  Really, that should take place of one mammogram right?  I decided that I should get my mammogram (what if the point system wasn’t working?) or better yet, I could get bonus points!!!! 
So, before we left for Traverse City, I went in, did all the usuals things, “you will get a letter in the mail in about two weeks if all is well” is what the form said.  Our first week in Traverse City I called home and checked my messages, “This is the U of M medical center, can you please call me?”  Well, I’d like to but really, I would just like my letter please……. The lady was very nice, “we need to get your previous records to compare them to the ones we took”  hmmm…..I’m no rocket scientist but this was sounding fishy to me.  I gave her the info she needed and told her that I would be happy to see the letter in the mail saying all was okay.  Yesterday I got another phone call, and it was not an invitation to lunch.  The girl was very nice:  “We got your previous films and after comparing them, we would like you to come in for some more pictures”  again, I’m no rocket scientist but I’m thinking something isn’t right here!! Then:  “We had a cancellation for tomorrow at 2:45pm, can you make that?”  Cancellation??????  Right!!!!!!  You see something and you want me in there!!!!!  Just say it!!!!
So, while wearing my “brave” face, sending Emily off to Kentucky “it will all be ok Emily, really”  I was dying inside.  I called/e-mailed very few people and asked for prayer.  Now this is where it gets funny/not so funny.  I go to my appointment, I walk into the room and there’s my breast plastered on the wall with a lump circled!!!!  What is up with that???!!!!  Wow, there’s my breast and hmmm………maybe that circled thing isn’t supposed to be there……right??  So with that fashionable gown they give you, I bare all and two pictures are taken.  Really, I’m hoping it doesn’t make it to the internet…… After waiting 10-15 minutes, which seems like an hour, the same lady calls me into a room and says, “everything is fine”  at which point I start crying.  Oh my gosh!!!!  Then she says, “I know that phone call from us is the hardest”, yea really????  Okay, I saw the image circled……..don’t even tell me prayer doesn’t work!!!
While waiting for her to call me, I was trying to read a magazine like the other two women in the room.  All the while thinking, “Isn’t it ironic that I started Ride for the Ribbon and now the whole Breast Cancer thing will be about me as well?”  I know that my favorite saying is “It’s all about ME!” but really, not this…….. So, needless to say, this was a huge eye opener for me.  Life is too short and while I put humor into this very scary ordeal, don’t forget to get your mammogram!