The Nine Month Friendship....

Life and death go hand in hand.  You can't have one without the other.  

One week and one day ago I lost a dear friend to ALS.  Lucinda Hathaway was 79 years old, originally diagnosed with PLS (Primary Lateral Sclerosis) which is similar to, and can be a gateway to ALS.  In Lucinda's case, she was dealt both.  We never know or understand why things happen the way they do and why things happen to certain people.  This is the story of my short yet unforgettable friendship with Lucinda.

How we met:  It was the first week of November, 2018.  Eric and I had just moved to Florida in August.  I was meeting new neighbors and getting into some routines, one of which was yoga, which I had that morning and was running late and needed to take Lola out to the bathroom quickly before I left.  Walking down the street I see a woman with white hair and a big smile standing in her driveway.  We make eye contact, wave and because I talk to everyone, I had to go say hi!  Still needing to get to yoga, I was going to introduce myself and be on my way.  As I approached her, after her amazing smile, I was met with her bright  blue eyes!  I introduced myself.  She started texting on her phone and a voice started speaking "I'm Lucinda, I can't talk" to which I replied "Well, I talk a lot so I don't think we will have a problem!"  She smiled and asked if she could walk with me.  I had a split second where I almost said, "Gosh, I'm running late to yoga, can we do it another time?" to "Absolutely, let's go!"  Skipping class that morning was the best decision.....  

We started having daily walks with Lola.  I learned that my new friend was an artist, an author of two children's books and a world traveler.  Constantly on the move, teaching local art classes whether in Florida or Maine.  Taking women on history and stitchery trips to Ireland, Scotland, England etc.  Lucinda was always on the go, so vibrant and full of life!  

One of our many selfies! 12/12/18

I began to see glimpses of myself in Lucinda and while I imagined that had we been the same age, we would've been great friends doing life together, here we were, ages 56 and 78, knowing there was no cure for Lucinda and me trying desperately to learn all I could from her in the unknown time we had.  

12/6/18

In January 2019 Lucinda offered to teach Mike Seamon and I art lessons!  While Mike and I were thrilled and acted like school kids, which meant that Lucinda had her work cut out for her!  But being the true teacher she is, on our first day she had printed out sheets for us with tons of information and color combinations etc.  While she couldn't physically speak, she commanded the table and we listened!  She would write on a dry erase board and hit the table with her hand when she needed our attention!  She would punch her fist in the air when she wanted our colors to be bolder!  Her eyes would light up and she would give us a thumbs up when our painting was good and if it wasn't just so..... she would stare at the painting then write what we needed to improve on!  Her last painting was 3 weeks before she died.  She had stopped painting a week or two before because it was too difficult to hold a brush and too frustrating for her.  I asked her if she and I could do one together.  She agreed, she did the outline and I painted it. This painting is so very special to me.   This woman who was being faced with new challenges in her life was challenging and encouraging us to do better!  We met every Tuesday morning so of course my painting became #TuesdaysWithLucinda.  

Our last painting together 8/6/19

Painting on the dock, until it started raining and we scurried inside! 4/2/19

Lucinda was involved with the Longboat Key Turtle Watch so we decided to have two of our paintings turned into notecards and donate them to the annual fundraiser!  Lucinda, Mike and I were named the Kitchen Table Painters by Lucinda.  Mike and I were shocked that people actually paid money for our notecards but we figured it was because they were grouped in the Lucinda's!!

Lucinda giving me to do lists with a smile! 4/24/19

Lucinda always giving direction! 4/24/19

Our final product!  4/24/19

Lucinda and I decided that on our walks, we would stop and sit on the bench by the bus stop.  This was the bus stop that never came!  We would laugh as we watched the cars go by because we were certain that people thought we were crazy!!

Feb 28, 2019

April 1, 2019

I discovered that Lucinda didn't have her first pedicure until the age of 50.  You know what that meant!  Off we went to get pedicures!

April 4, 2019

By April Lucinda was starting to get a little unsteady on her feet.  When we would walk, she would always hold my arm and we were walking a bit slower but we WERE WALKING!!  Never one to stop, Lucinda added a walking friend and off we went!!  While she had a smile on her face 97% of the time, Lucinda and I also had some hard conversations during this time because she was starting to see the decline.  I remember one day in particular, we sat in my driveway and she cried, wrote out her frustrations to me and I listened.  I like to think I was a sounding board for her, I was someone she could vent to and I didn't try and tell her it would be ok.  We both knew it wouldn't.  

April 7, 2019

May 25, 2019

At some point in June we had to quit taking our walks down the street.  That didn't stop Lucinda from doing laps around the living/dining room with her walker and lifting her 1lb weights.  I'm not sure I've ever seen someone fight like she did.  In one of our talks, she told me, "I'm not afraid of dying because I know where I'm going, but I'm afraid of losing control.  She would soon be confined to a chair in the living room but she was determined to have art at the kitchen table for as long as she could.

June 25, 2019

June 25, 2019

Being in the pool was another great thing to keep Lucinda moving.  With assistance, once she got in and had her noodle, she would do laps around the pool!!

June 3, 2019

June 3, 2019

June 30, 2019 - Lucinda and Jack celebrated 53 years of marriage!  I loved sitting with them and listening to them talk about how they met and their short courtship!

June 30, 2019

July 4, 2019 - I stopped in that evening and we heard fireworks go off

July 4, 2019

Art class was now taking place in the living room but we didn't mind as long as we were all together!

July 19, 2019

July 19, 2019

July 19, 2019

Eric and I were leaving on a trip that we had planned for a while.  We were flying out August 10th, returning August 26th and I was quite anxious because of Lucinda.  Her decline was showing daily.  I knew it was very selfish of me but I didn't want her to die while I was gone.  The night before I left, I was at her house and before I left I looked her in the eye and said "I will see you in two weeks"  She smiled and gave me a thumbs up.  I kissed her on the forehead and told her I loved her.

August 26, 2019 - Our flight arrived midnight in Tampa, we got home 1:40am and I went straight to Lucinda's.  As I held her hand, she squeezed mine and tapped my hand with her finger.  I thanked her for waiting for me.  I stayed until 3:15am.

August 27, 2019 - I went down two other times and when I held her hand, there was no response like earlier that morning.  I went down at 9:30pm and said goodnight.

August 28, 2019  3:38am - Lucinda passed away

August 29, 2019 - 4am    Lizzie and I got in the car and drove to Columbus, Ohio to move her there.

I will be forever grateful for meeting Lucinda.  We had so many laughs together, we could finish each others sentences and we could look at each other and know what the other was thinking!  Then we would laugh about that!   I learned so much from her.  I will close with something I wrote for her before I left for the two weeks.  I sent it to her daughters and asked, if they thought it wouldn't upset her too much, if they would read it to her.  I don't believe they could and I totally understand because I wouldn't have been able to!!  But I feel strongly that even though I wrote it all out, Lucinda knew.....

My dear friend Lucinda,
I wanted to tell you how much your friendship means to me! The day we met, when you were standing in your driveway and I was walking Lola and we waved, I introduced myself to you, you text on your phone and a voice came from your phone saying, “I’m Lucinda, I cannot speak” I remember saying, “Well that’s not a problem because I talk a lot!” You smiled and I knew we would be friends! What I never told you was when you asked if you could walk with us, I was rushing because I was running late for yoga and needed to let Lola go to the bathroom quick! I had a split second thought of “Oh I’m heading to yoga, can we do it another time?” and instead I said, “Of course!” Meeting you that day was so worth skipping yoga! That became a routine for us, me coming down with Lola and the 3 of us taking a walk down the street. That extended to walking around the church and eventually you decided we should sit on the bench on Gulf of Mexico and chat as we watched the cars go by and laugh! We laughed because we could only imagine what a sight we were and people must think we were nuts!
I started to learn more about you, not only as a wife, mother and grandmother but an artist, author and world traveler! Learning about all the facets of your life, I see so much of myself in you (not the watercoloring part but I will continue to push myself!) and so many times I’ve

thought, that while I’m so incredibly thankful to have met you, I also feel cheated because we don’t have the luxury of time. Now I understand how people who do speed dating must feel, trying to get to know someone in a specified amount of time.... Damn you ALS.
I was thinking the other day that although I’ve only known you without a voice, I feel like we have amazing communication. What I love is that we can look at each other and somehow know what the other is thinking! I think our communication is so easy because we just get each other and we can finish each others sentences!
You have taught me so much in 9 months.... I’ve learned that you have more fight in you than any other person I know. You told me you knew this was a death sentence, you knew the end result, yet you keep pushing. That has probably had the biggest impact on me. I will never feel like something is too big for me to handle and I thank you for that lesson.
Your smile!!! Oh my gosh your smile literally lights up a room! I can see why people are so drawn to you and why you have friends all over the world!
You are one of the most humble people I know! The things you’ve done, the places you’ve traveled, the books you’ve written, the lives you’ve touched and there is not one ounce of boastful pride. Thank you for that lesson!
I’ve learned to pick up a brush, dip it into some paint and create some amazing and not so amazing art! Because of

you, I’ve learned to push myself out of my comfort zone. Because of you I now look at things and wonder what it would look like as a painting.... and that’s a beautiful thing. Life should be looked at like that!
I have always had empathy for others and a love of helping others, but because of you, I’ve discovered that the heart truly has no limits. I will always choose love over hate and I will continue to choose to speak kindness and positivity over negativity.
Because of you, I’ve learned to not take one day for granted. Because of you I’ve learned it’s ok to talk about death and we should talk about it. I’ve learned the importance of real conversation. I’ve learned to look people in the eyes more. I’ve learned to really listen. I’ve learned to pause before I respond and I’ve learned to say I Love You more. I’ve learned to not hold grudges, I’ve learned to forgive quicker. I’ve learned that life isn’t fair and that we don’t always understand why things happen the way they do. Thank you for reminding me to slow down and enjoy life.
You told me you’re not afraid to die because you know where you are going and I couldn’t agree more. When that day comes, the only thing that will make it tolerable is knowing you are no longer in pain. Knowing that you will be free from this horrific disease, you will take the biggest, deepest breath and knowing there will be a huge party upon your arrival!

It was no accident we met, we were meant to be in each others lives if only for a short time and I will be forever grateful for the time I’ve gotten to spend with you.
I’m a better person because of you Cinda.
I love you, Sharon

Notes from an Aged out Equitation Mom...

Sweet Jesus the Junior Equitation years are over!!!! - said every single parent of more than one child...

Eleven years of Equitation finals under my belt thanks to 3 daughters.  Here are a few things I've learned along the way:

Let's just get this truth out there from the start:

~The 3rd child will ALWAYS benefit. Let's be real here, the first child, as with anything in life is your guinea pig....this is no different in the equestrian world. The middle child gets the first born horse, even if it's entirely too big for her... until you realize that another horse is a much better fit... You are figuring this whole "I want to ride a pony" thing out and the next thing you know you're living in Michigan training with Aaron Vale who lives in Florida so now your horses are in Florida and your girls are flying to and fro, competing nationally in between attending a private college prep school.  All the while trying to live a well balance life... No biggie.... 

~Let the trainer do the training. Just because you take a ton of photos and can see that your child is leaning to one side and have proof because of your mad photo skills.... pointing this out as they are exiting the ring isn't helpful... trust me on this one....

~When your child does well, cheer and hug them and high five whoever is near you! Post that stuff on social media immediately!!  When your child messes up, and trust me they will, be quiet.  Shhhhhh..... Let them go back to the barn, show up in your golf cart and just sit. Please trust me on this one!!!  Depending on your child, you may or may not be able to hug them....

~Always have a rag of some sort with you. 

~Always have water.

~While videotaping your child, either mute the sound or keep your mouth closed.  Because when they go off course or knock down a rail and you say "shit",  they WILL hear it....I may have done this once or twice... 

~You are not obligated to buy photos at every show! Do not let your child try and convince you that "This is the best photo" they've ever seen! There will be many of those.  But do go in and look at them with your child, even put some in a folder.  You aren't committing yourself.  I do recommend buying from the show photographer because 1) They take amazing shots (but don't let your child know that you know...) 2) Even though you have mad photo skills, the professional will indeed get that breathtaking one. 3) Unless you keep a detailed photo book with said photos (and if you do, I might hate you) I promise you that the photos will end up in a box with all the other photos you plan on one day scrapbooking for your child.  Let's be honest here, this could be realistic with one child... I have 3.  This is what mine looks like....honestly, it's painful.

~I'm all about kids learning life lessons and trust me they will.  (I realize that this is more the life lesson of the parent....) But if you show up to your first ever Pony Finals and only have your Shadbelly because you 100% don't have a clue that you also needed your regular show coat, you WILL be going to the tack shop and purchasing a regular show coat. It will cost you a lot of money and your husband will be very unhappy.... Always pack more than what you thing you might need.  

~When you are in Kentucky at the pony ring where your child is showing a pony for someone and Steven Spielberg and his wife pull up next to you in their golf cart.... take a deep breath. Continue to try and casually get a picture with your cell phone and send to your husband.  Then quietly curse under your breath that "why on earth are they in Kentucky?! Go back to California!" Because you've heard how much they paid for that one horse....

~When you are showing in Kentucky and your oldest competes against Jessica Springsteen.... When you see Bruce (you can call him Bruce when his daughter is showing against yours) and you happen to have a music tape of a friend and you walk up to him, say hi and hand it to him.  Totally acceptable.  

~Remind your child that THIS class, whichever one it may be, does not define who they are as a person!  Win or lose!

~A trainer once said to the girls "You will get a ribbon you didn't deserve and you won't get a ribbon you deserved.  This is how this is."  She was right, and I never forgot that.

~Always be humble. Always.  Be gracious for each win and be gracious for each loss.  Both will make you a better person and you will learn from each.  But be humble.  I will say, this is something we've always said to our girls and tried to teach them.  Aaron Vale is probably the most humble person I've ever met in my life and to have him be a part of my daughters lives is so valuable. I'm tearing up when I think of his relationship with my girls because 100% I've said this and still mean it.  If, God forbid something ever happen to Eric before our girls got married, Aaron would walk them down the isle.   My girls call him Grandpa.  Emily started this and it stuck! One year they were walking the course at Indoors and one of the girls (I think Emily) yelled "Grandpa" and Aaron said, "what" and the people around them got crazy eyes!!! Aaron and the girls also started convincing everyone that Lizzie was adopted.  Sarah and Lizzie are 19 months apart and look nothing alike! One year they had Andy Kocher convinced that Lizzie was adopted.  He came up to me at some point and said how great he thought that it was that we adopted a girls and she was competing etc.  I looked at him funny and was like "huh?" and he said, "Lizzie" and I said, "She is NOT adopted! They are 19 months apart!" Needless to say, Aaron, Sarah and Lizzie were mad at me for spoiling their fun!

~Given the last response: Keep your child/children around people with values/morals that line up in close proximity to yours. These are people who have a big influence on your child.  Do your research!

~If you happen to end up at a barn and realize that it's not the place for your family, leave. Do not feel guilty, you are paying a lot of money in this sport. You get to decide who you write the check to each month. And know, if you choose to leave a barn, there will be different rumors as to why you left.  All of which will be most likely be wrong.  We left a barn and the next thing I heard was that the reason we left was because we ran out of money..... now, for the record, I did not hear this come out of their mouth, I heard it hearsay. (We then went on to ride with Aaron, our girls all finished their junior years and we've had investment horses with Aaron... with the money we ran out of... ) Speaking of rumors, when we lived in Columbus, Ohio we bought the home across the street from us with the intention of building a new home.  We donated the home to the fire department to train in and they burnt it down. Because we purchased the home, the rumor going around in the community was that Eric and I were getting divorced and he was moving across the street.  First and foremost, if Eric and I were divorcing, he would NOT be moving across the street from me.... Also, another fun rumor was Eric must've been a drug dealer because we belonged to a country club and had someone helping me with the girls..... So my point of this is.... people will say all kinds of crap.  Teach your children that!!! Teach them to be true to who they are and where they came from!!  AND be with them!!  Be a part of their life!  

~Remind your child that you are the one paying the bills: There are so many things I love about this sport and many I don't.  It's a bubble.  Plain and simple.  Not everyone gets to participate in the bubble. There will ALWAYS be someone that has a nicer horse, ALWAYS someone with more horses than you, ALWAYS someone with more.... be grateful for what you have and again, this does not define who you are as a person. 

~Remind your child that they get one chance to make a first impression.  When they are at a horse show and in line with their friends at the ice cream shop and complaining about the judging in their class, blah, blah, blah..... there very well might be a judge standing in the same line.  Just don't....

~Target and Wal-Mart have fantastic knee high socks. You can get all matching black ones.... You will thank me for this.

~You WILL purchase a lot of leather gloves.  For the record, Roeckl gloves are $45.00 a pair. I know this because I just purchased a pair and sent to Lizzie at college..... I swear, it doesn't end...

~Let's talk crops and spurs.... something else you will purchase a lot of. Spurs: You will own a million because depending on the mood of your horse, will depend on which spurs will be used.  Also, you will be required to keep other spurs with you at all times because once they school, they might need to switch spurs before going into the ring.  If the horse doesn't do well, the spurs most likely will be to blame.... I might have heard that before. Crops: Oh sweet Lord... ok, this is very very important.  There is a company that puts your child's initials on the end of the crops.  Get one, or two... You're welcome!

Euthanasia: Making that gut wrenching decision....

As everyone knows, making the decision to put your pet down is never easy. We ended 2015 with doing just that.

Our dog Missy, who was 15, had a tumor on her leg that could not be completely removed because of it's location.  They could remove some of it, or amputate the leg.... 1) Putting a 15 year old through a surgery to not remove all is was not ok in my mind. 2) Amputating the leg of a 15 year old was not even a consideration.

Did I mention that Missy was deaf and had cataracts? 

Even when it seems like the right thing to do, you question yourself.  

I've sat on the kitchen floor and cried contemplating this decision while Missy came over, wagged her tail and nudged my face as if to say, "It's ok, it's my time"

Eric and I were going to have her put down before the girls came home for Christmas.  I wanted to shield them from the hurt, but then I realized that Missy has been with them for 15 years, such a huge part of their life.  I sent a text to all three girls telling them (they knew at Thanksgiving it would be happening but we didn't know WHEN) that I felt her leg was starting to bother her and we felt it was time.  I asked if they wanted to be with her and all 3 said yes.  I cried. Again. I cried because it meant so much to me that they wanted to be with her, honestly, I'm not sure I could've done it at their age.  

The only time all 3 girls were going to be home was at Christmas so the day after Christmas we left for the vet.  We knew we wanted to bury Missy on our property so Eric had previously dug a hole because we didn't know if it was going to be snowing.  Thankfully this was a no snow Christmas. Here are some things I'd love to share with you on this subject:

~If you have children, don't assume they don't want to be part of it. Don't think you are shielding them from pain. Let them make that decision.

~Talk to your vet, ours was so supportive. Find out the details. Our vet had a separate room with a couple of chairs and a rug so it wasn't the "sterile" room.  There were tons of treats and they encouraged us to give her as many as we wanted.  

~Our vet was so kind and told us exactly how the procedure would happen. She gave us time to hang out with Missy.  There is absolutely no way to prepare yourself for this. We talked to her (even though she was deaf) and loved on her and I will tell you, Missy knew she was loved. There is no doubt in my mind. 

~Don't remove their collar.  I actually read this a few weeks prior. A friend had posted a blog from a vet tech saying the things they wished people knew when it came time to euthanize.  At least in our home, when we took the collar off, it meant bath time and they were so excited when we put it back on! I would NEVER had thought of that and I'm not sure if I would've thought to remove it before she was euthanized but I was thankful to have read that.

Eric said it was harder to bury Missy than watch her be put down. He said it didn't seem right burying her and he said that he felt bad knowing she was there by herself.  Cue the sobbing.... (of course I reminded him that she wasn't there, only her body) Emily carried her from the car (she was wrapped in a quilted blanket) which absolutely tore me up.  I don't know if I could've done that. But I realized that we all did exactly what we could and were supposed to do that day. quilted blanket which was 

15 years is a long time... Eric isn't really an animal lover like we are and honestly, I think this hit him the hardest. You just never know how people are affected.  

In the end, it's such a tough decision but the animal's quality of life should be the most important.  It was important for us that Missy not suffer.  She was a rescue and lived a fantastic life.  She followed me from room to room in the house, she was such a loyal animal.  Was she annoying at times? Absolutely. But amazingly those annoying times disappear and you do only remember the good!  Love your animals! They depend on you!

Pessoa USEF Medal Finals 2015 - the final one, ever....

I just experienced the last time I will ever step into the Farm Show Complex in Harrisburg, Pa. as the mother of a junior rider. How do I feel? Giddy and sad at the same time, if that's even possible! Eleven years we've sat in these stands watching 3 daughters compete in the Medal Finals. Eleven years of highs and lows, of sometimes not even making it around, sometimes your horse decides to rear going to a jump, sometimes the nerves are so much that you fly around the ring because you just want to get around! Sometimes you are on the standby... to get knocked off. Sometimes you never make the standby. Sometimes you are lucky enough to make the top 25. And then there is that time, this time, when your child says to you, "I just want to get a ribbon at finals." And she does! We couldn't be more proud of Lizzie and her journey.

We live in Michigan and Lizzie rides with Aaron Vale in Ocala, Florida.  Lizzie has been with Aaron since she was in 7th grade.  Lizzie attended Greenhills school, a college prep school and would fly to Florida to ride or meet Aaron at shows.  

Lizzie's Equitation horse, App For That got hurt the beginning of HITS this year. This was a devastating blow and he would be out 6-9 months. Lizzie tried many horses during HITS and while Aaron had gotten some lovely ones in from Europe, because it was her last Jr year, Lizzie wanted a horse that had already been to Indoors. 

I received a call from my friend Laura Hindle who owns Freedom, a lovely Equitation horse! In May, Freedom arrived at Aaron's and our wonderful journey with Freedom began! Just and FYI, Freedom will be for lease/sale the end of this month so ... get on that quick!!

Lizzie is a Freshman at the University of South Carolina and on the Equestrian team.  They had a meet on Friday, Lizzie competed in that, got in her car and headed to the airport to fly into Harrisburg! She arrived at 9:30pm, we headed to the Farm Show Complex for her to ride!

Saturday, Lizzie and Aaron talking over the warm up class.

Sunday morning!! 6:30am course walk and the first horse is in the ring at 7am! Lizzie drew the 188th spot so she had many trips to watch and 3 standby lists. Her time arrived, she and Freedom laid down a very solid trip but she had 50+ trips to sit through before the 4th standby list.  She was on it! The judges had a list of the top 25 riders that they would bring back for another round.  Lizzie was on it and in the 9th position! Another solid round! The judges would bring back the top 6 riders and test them! Lizzie was on that!!

Realizing this was my final time writing the standby list!

Lizzie and Freedom ended up 6th out of 280 riders!!  It was truly an incredible day and so much thanks goes to Aaron!!  He has been such wonderful trainer and has made a great impact on Lizzie's (and all of our) life! He is by far the best horseman there is and we feel extremely blessed to have had him train our girls!

To watch Lizzie and Freedom, here is the link:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPaUuAIDNxc

How great to have Lizzie's Head Coach, Boo Major,  from the University of South Carolina present!

Lizzie and Aaron, picture presentation!

A very special moment!

Our groom Lencho! The best guy!

At this point, we literally ran to the car to get Lizzie to the airport to head back to college!  We arrived 25 minutes before her flight was taking off! She made it! Eric and I started our drive back to Michigan, arriving home at 3am! I can't tell you what it meant to read every text, post, comment, etc.  

Next stop: Washington DC for Equitation Finals!  

Final Junior Equitation Year, A Mother's Reflection

After having 3 daughters compete on the A Circuit, in Hunter/Jumper/Equitation, I am currently sitting in the kitchen of some friends in Haverford, Pa.  Tomorrow we will pick up our youngest daughter Lizzie from the airport in Harrisburg for the beginning of the end of Equitation Finals.  We've been attending Medal, Maclay, USET, WIHS one, all or a mixture of some since 2004. (Seriously, isn't there an award for the parents who've sat through 11 years of Equitation Finals?!!)

If I'm completely honest, as much of a nervous wreck as I was at the first one in 2004, I'm equally feeling the nerves with this being the FINAL. I always knew there was "next year" and it's such a mixture of feelings knowing this is it as a Junior Rider.

Here is what we've always tried to convey to our daughters:

1) This (riding) doesn't define who you are as a person, it is PART of who you are.  We've worked hard to keep a balance in your life and have been fortunate enough to make that happen. 

2) Faith: Stay grounded and humble.  I'm incredibly thankful that each of you girls have experienced going on mission trips and having a heart for those less fortunate. 

3) Family: No matter how crazed someone makes you, we are family.  Your family will always be there, through the good and the bad.  Friends will come and go but WE, family, are the ones that will help to pick up the pieces or cheer the loudest or cry (mom) when my heart is so proud of you I feel like it will explode!

4) Education: This is something no one can ever take away from you.  It might be a pain, you might not want to do the homework, but you need it.  Will you have to learn things you might not ever use in your life? Most likely. But it's more than that. It's a growing experience you shouldn't miss out on. You will grow/mature in ways you didn't know you could. I promise!

So as I'm reflecting on this amazing, joyful, painful, emotional, ecstatic, gut- wrenching journey, here is what I want our daughters to know:  

Your father and I are so incredibly proud of you! 

To Emily: For starting us on this journey. As the firstborn, you were the leader and at times the guinea pig. We learned what we should and shouldn't do in regards to horses. You were the leader in our journey.  You graduated from high school and went to the University Of Georgia.  You were part of the Equestrian team, you were part of a National Champion team. Was it all roses? Absolutely not.  Have you learned valuable lessons? Absolutely.  We are incredibly proud of the fact that you were working for Carter's (baby clothes) a month after you graduated from college. The fact that you do Product Development and Sourcing for Little Baby Basics and Carter's seasonal bodysuit pant sets (boys and girls lines) still boggles my mind! We are so proud of you Emily!! Keep moving forward and be true to who you are!

To Sarah: To our middle child who honestly makes us laugh daily. You came into the horses I believe by being the middle child, it seemed like the thing to do. You are cautious by nature and when we started riding with Aaron Vale, you were pushed outside your comfort zone immediately! You never had a desire to do Jumpers and went on to win the NAL Jumper Classic

http://www.barnmice.com/profiles/blogs/sarah-van-der-walde-won-the-10-000-north-american-league-children

https://youtu.be/_zAjeRFWAYA

You will jokingly say this is where you peaked and it was all downhill from there.  While this was a peak moment for you, you pushed through other not so comfortable times.  You, by your choice, made the decision to not compete in your last Junior year. You were accepted into the University of Michigan and chose to pursue the next chapter of your life there.  While this didn't include the competitiveness of the Equestrian world, you have embraced being in a sorority, Kappa Kappa Gamma. You are now a Junior in the School of Information, hoping to have a Minor in German and Applied Statistics.... You amaze us! 

To Lizzie: The baby of the family and in all honesty, the one who benefited the most when it comes to riding. You started this riding journey when you were 3.  Some will say that you are naturally talented at this.  We still say, family, faith and education before this. Your high school education and riding is what had you being a top recruit in riding in college. While there were several colleges recruiting you, you had your heart set on one, the University of South Carolina. As it turned out, by chance, they were your last college visit. While others offered you more in scholarship, you knew that South Carolina was where you belonged.  As your parents, we couldn't agree more.  

As you are finishing the end of your last Junior year, remember this. Remember who you are and where you come from. Remember that you are an amazing person and you have an incredible journey ahead of you. Listen to those that are giving you advice and constructive criticism. Enjoy this journey!!  Do your very best and be happy with it!

In the end, we love each of you for where you are and we are your biggest cheerleaders! 

As your mom, I will continue to cry at the drop of a hat.  I am your biggest fan and your worst critic, but in the end, I will always love you.  

Mom

  

Slowly retiring from my full-time job...

                                    Job Description: MOM

Duties: Anything and everything, things you knew you could do and things you had no idea you were capable of doing, things that make you laugh and things that make you fall to the floor in a pile of goo and cry.

Length of employment: Forever

I joined the workforce of MOM in 1992.  I took on additional jobs in 1995 and 1997.  This is the hardest job I've EVER had.  Seriously, the hardest.  So hard that I wish I had added more jobs to my resume.  (There has to be a little crazy in there somewhere to keep adding on job after job!) 

I have been fortunate to work full time at my job. But my full time job has been fading into part time over the last few years.  I've seen it coming, the writing on the wall.... your jobs start to be taken over by themselves.  You know that's how it should be but you really want to keep your full time job.  I mean come on, no one knows this job the way I do right?! How can this job have any idea what it takes to see it through the day?! And yet, it does....  or it doesn't and the job will now have it's own growing pains and learning curves.

I have mixed feelings of heading into semi-retirement. The freedom that comes with it feels exciting yet scary and at times I feel bad about being excited!! Sometimes I feel like we should get more dogs. I've mentioned this to Eric on several occasions and he walks out of the room.... The scary part is that sometimes I feel like our "jobs" will no longer need us when the reality is that they do, and they will.  It will just be on a whole new level.  

I'm choosing to embrace the joy that will come from being an empty nester.  I'm wanting to go from room to room purging and this makes Eric very nervous... In truth, I've been purging over the last year and I do it when he is out of town! The amount of "stuff" accumulated over the years is mind boggling! We have some boxes in the basement labeled "LAKE HOUSE" that I swear to you has been there for 10+ years. I'm guessing that when the day comes that I get my lake house, I will not want what is in those boxes... 

Our youngest is graduating high school in one week. ONE WEEK!!! CRAP! So much to do!!! And yet I sit here procrastinating... or maybe I've realized that everything will get done and it will all be fine.  Nope... procrastinating for sure... but as usual, when I get so overwhelmed with what needs to be done, I just sit because I can't decide what to do first. The washing machine just beeped that it's done, there is a pile of clothes in a chair that needs to be folded, there are rooms that need to be cleaned because we have company coming into town starting Sunday!!!  And yet, I sit here... The reality is that I will shove things in unused rooms/closets and shut the door and say to myself, "I'll do all that after the kids leave for college" 

Oh and if you need me, I'll most likely be looking at pictures and getting all emotional, because it's just what I do....

  

Our firstborn has completed college and has a big girl job...

I am always amazed at how fast time flies by and equally amazed that I don't stop and enjoy it more. If you are like me, you have good intentions but then you get back on that wheel of life and keep spinning!

This past December was crazy for us!! Emily, our firstborn graduated from The University of Georgia on Dec 19th.... when I think of that moment, it does make me pause. I have a college graduate...

My college graduate has a job! A big girl, real job! Emily graduated with a Major in Fashion Merchandising and a Minor in Product Development.  She has accepted a position with Carter's (yep, the baby clothes) corporate office in Atlanta, Georgia!  She will be the Global Sourcing Coordinator.  She will be responsible with communicating with the factories overseas when they send them orders and making sure that it's done under the right codes.  She will be working with quality apparel to make sure that the clothes are being made properly etc.  She will be in communication with the factories to make sure that all orders are done and shipped on time and that they end up at the proper places!  The factories are in Asia and she will get the opportunity to travel and visit the factories. 

We are incredibly proud of her and her accomplishments!  Looking forward to seeing what this next chapter of your life has in store!!  Enjoy this time sweet girl!

Mom