Where did 25 years go? Happy Anniversary Eric!

 25 years ago today, with a borrowed dress, wide eyed with the world by the tail, Eric and I said "I do" in my then bosses home surrounded by family and a few friends! 

25 years ago... wow... it's hard to wrap my brain around 25 years! 

I completely hit the jackpot when I saw him walking through the lobby of the bank where we both worked! And this poor guy had no idea what he was getting himself into when he held my drink at a work function oh so long ago!

25 good, hard, fun, frustrating, heart wrenching, exciting, tearful, joyful, annoying, "I can't live without you", "I can't stand you" blessed years. 

 I remember my boss at the time we got married sitting me down and saying, "Sharon, you are going to have good days and bad days, good weeks and bad weeks, good years and possibly bad years. But always remember to communicate with one another. Don't ever just throw in the towel."   At the time I vividly remember thinking, "Times that I won't be able to stand Eric? This perfect human being that has asked me to marry him? The one that I can't stand to be away from? That's the silliest thing I've heard! We are SO in love!" 

Time does have a way of presenting all the feelings from good to bad... and to be honest, we've had many of those "bad" times my former boss spoke of! 

I will say that even after 25 years of marriage, I cannot imagine my life with anyone else. This guy has shown me more Grace than any other human being. He has loved me in spite of the extra dogs I bring home without mentioning it to him!

He has loved me through my endless Kinser Vale obsession....

He has loved me through my, "Can we buy another horse?!" And continues to love me through that!!

He has loved me through more things than I can count.  But most importantly, he is an amazingly devoted husband to me and father to our three girls.  He has more Integrity than anyone I know.  His morals, his values and his love of God shows in so many ways.  He pushes me and our daughters to be better people. He has learned patience over the years and he is the "go to" person for the girls.  He is the one they call for advice which just makes me love him even more!

Eric and Emily

Eric and Sarah

Eric and Elizabeth

We are soon to be empty nesters and I look forward to that next chapter of our life. I look forward to growing old with you Eric van der Walde!

Lizzie signs with South Carolina Equestrian Team!

This morning we had the privilege of watching Lizzie sign her National Letter of Intent to be part of the South Carolina Equestrian team!

Lizzie's love of horses started at a very young age!  She would watch rounds over and over and never tire of it!  

Sisters, Sarah (L) and Lizzie (R)

Lizzie and her trainer Aaron Vale have a special relationship that has grown over the years! Lizzie typically calls Aaron "Grandpa" which gets funny looks when they are walking a jumper course or Indoors! They also took pride in telling people that Lizzie was adopted because she had dark hair and Emily and Sarah are both blonde! We owe such a huge gratitude of thanks to Aaron and everyone at ThinksLikeAHorse for being a huge part of this! 

Middle of the night schooling at Harrisburg

Indoors!

Washington Int'l Horse Show

Lizzie attends Greenhills School which is a private college prep school in Michigan and her horses are with Aaron in Ocala, Florida.  Without the program offered by Aaron and his team of employees, it would have been difficult for Lizzie to achieve her level of riding and her school work.  Because of this unique situation, and with the support of both Aaron and her teachers, Lizzie has excelled in both riding and education, both of which caught the eye of several NCEA riding schools.  After making several Official Visits, Lizzie knew that South Carolina is where she belonged.  

Lizzie has one Junior year left and plans on making the most of it!  She will be spending the winter in Ocala doing the HITS Circuit and hopes to qualify for Maclay, USEF Medal, Young Riders and her jumpers for Indoors!

We look forward to this next chapter for Lizzie and we are excited to see what this next year of riding has in store!  

Maclay Regionals 2014 here we come.. sick or not...but most likely sick...

Can I just tell you... I am that mom who will keep her child home from school because she is sick. But by golly, when it's time to leave for Lexington, Kentucky for Maclay Regionals... we will be in the car, driving our 5 hours and not even blinking an eye.  Yep, that's me... my hand is raised. 

Anyone who knows what it's like at this level understands the madness of a mom during Indoors. Sure, we are all smiling and being polite to each other but inside.... the words "I hope my child beats your child" are on repeat. Honestly. On repeat. I'm not going to lie.  I've been doing this Equitation thing since 2003. I could write a book... or a blog.  

As I'm currently sitting at my kitchen table, leaving for Kentucky tomorrow, not even packed, with a sick girl upstairs, who has been running a 101+ fever since yesterday.  We have a new friend called the EV D-68, this wonderful virus that is hitting so many and has decided it likes Lizzie.  It actually decided to become friends with her over a week ago.  I guess it was a bit jealous that she wasn't paying quite enough attention to it so it decided to add a bonus of fever and oh, let's throw in some coughing up of the lungs while we are at it!  

We've made not one, but two visits to the doctor. This last one went like this: Dr: "ok so my initial reaction is to wait 24 hours but is there a competition coming up" Me: "yep, we leave on Wednesday" Dr: "ok then, we are starting you on antibiotics just in case" 

As if the doctor visit wasn't enough, I've added my own ingredients to the mix with some help from friends who've done these different things that have worked.  So I'm of the theory that if one would work, what the hell, let's go for them all! So I'm hitting Lizzie from all angles and by golly, excluding the wine, which is for me.... she will be on her horses and competing on Thursday!  

So here's what we've got:

Ok, I have to be honest, while Lizzie was home running a fever, I had to get my hair done.... a mom has to present herself well and trust me, no one wants to see my gray hair poking out at the roots.  And let's be honest, it's not how well Lizzie does at Regionals, it's how well the mom's look..... ok I'm kidding. Sort of :)

Dr: "So when is the next competition? Alrighty, antibiotics for you then"

Stopped by Whole Foods to get Lizzie some Chicken Noodle Soup.  Walked out with an Essential Oil diffuser.  Yep, I could've bought it on Amazon for a fraction of the cost but guess what? We don't have that kind of time.  Desperate measures call for desperate purchases... and quite honestly, I feel like a million bucks walking into her room with this magic pot of gold going!!!  And yes, I'll be bringing it to Kentucky... my ammunition... :)

Ok so this is for me.  Currently having a moment of "You cannot be sick for Regionals!!!!!!!!!!" So this is my medication.  Don't judge....

My current mix of "We are throwing the shit at you and you will feel better by Thursday!!" Compliments of Joy.... 

So here we are.  It's 8pm at night and I should probably go pack but my "medication" is kicking in so maybe I'll wait until tomorrow morning!

But in all seriousness, this is the time of the year that these riders have worked hard for.  While they are out there riding for their place, we the parents will be in the stands cheering them on.  Trying not to puke and squeezing the hand of whichever friend is sitting next to us.  Our hearts will be pounding and we will be jumping every jump with them.  

Best of luck to every rider, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that I'd like all the luck to go to Lizzie! Sorry, it's a mom thing!

Mom venting post....

I took my 17 year old daughter to the Pediatrician today for this coughing up a lung issue that is hitting every other person with a vengeance right now, which is not the reason for this post. 

Here is my encounter when checking her in:

Me: "Checking in Elizabeth"
Lady verifying our records: "I see that we don't have a cell phone for Elizabeth, can we have that?  I see we have yours but we want to add hers as well and we would still call you"
Me: "Then why do you need hers?"
Lady: "In case the Dr ever felt like they needed to talk to her directly about anything"
Me: "No, she is under 18, as a parent we are being stripped of too many things when it comes to our children, so no"
Lady: "ok"

So.... I have to tell you that this annoyed the life out of me.  What the crap!!!

I have a friend who is an OBGYN and we've had conversations on this and I do get that there are kids who won't say something if their parent is in the room, etc.  While I don't like it, I step out. I know that I'm fortunate in that my girls talk to me.  I get that not all kids feel they can talk to their parents.  I TOTALLY GET THAT!!  I've even had a situation where one of my children said, "oh she can stay" and they asked me to leave anyway... so I guess my question is, have we fallen so far in society and is the family unit so drastically dysfunctional that it is the majority of middle school/high school kids that are doing things their parents a) Aren't aware of b) Have not talked to them about c) that clueless??

I get that there are some pretty bad situations out there but I find it hard to believe that those are so great that we now assume every single family is like that... really?

So once your child turn 18, they are on their own, medically, Mom/Dad don't have to be told anything!  But they can stay on our insurance until they are 26. And the bonus? We are still expected to pay!!  Wow.... if that doesn't give you warm fuzzies, I don't know what else could! 

So in our house, if you are over 18 and we are paying for your insurance, you will give them permission to talk to us. Now in all fairness, this is really a no brainer in our home, our girls have no desire to pay for it themselves until forced to!  And here is what you don't want to have happen, dear 18 year olds that think they are smarter than their parents.... End up having to use the insurance, not tell your parents and then your parents get a fun statement from the insurance company... ouch....

So that's my rant. As a parent, I feel like there is becoming more of a wedge between parents and children in regards to medical issues. It makes me sad really......  

Ok, I'm done.

Love comes in many forms....

When Lizzie was in 4th grade, that Christmas she said to me, "Mom, I need to buy a Christmas gift for my friend Alex." Alex was her friend from church. So we went to the mall and purchased a gift for Alex. The next year rolls around, and at Christmas Lizzie again says, "Mom, I need to buy a gift for my friend Alex" So we go to the mall and buy this child a gift, who I've never met.... When 6th grade rolls around and Lizzie says, "Mom, I need to buy my friend Alex a Christmas gift", I think to myself, "I should probably meet Alex"!!  I met this freckle faced little girl who just lit up the room when she spoke and smiled! Alex became such a regular part of our family and at times it was hard to know that she wasn't really one of ours! Lizzie has been just as much a part of the Graham family as Alex is a van der Walde! Lizzie has been on vacation with Alex and the two have been to countless concerts and sporting events! 

Somewhere in Middle School

These two have been through the most awkward phases together. They've loved and they've fought. But in the end, they've always been there for each other. 

I can't imagine these two not remaining friends for life.  They will most likely drift, as most friendships do, but I can see them always returning to each other. The safe one.

But I will admit that the most emotion part for me was tonight.  When I arrived at Alex's home for dinner, the eve of her leaving for college.  Eric and I arrive, say our hello's and give out my hugs.  The next thing I know is Alex presenting me with a framed photo of she and I from her Graduation party. 

 I'm holding a sign that reads "2nd Mom".  I start to cry.  I hear Lizzie say, "See I told you she would cry" and then  hear Alex's mom say, "Alex, I told you not to give that to her until the end!"  The words I wanted to speak but knew that I would cry like a baby.... what I wanted to say but couldn't:

"I am so incredibly proud of you Alex.  I'm so proud of the person you are.  I love your heart, your smile, your dedication, your flaws, your mistakes, your accomplishments, the mistakes you will make, the things I know you will accomplish and above all else, I adore the moments spent with you.  I've loved watching you grow into the young woman you are and look forward to watching you mature and grow even more.  I love you like one of my own and I would jump in front of a moving vehicle for you!  Enjoy this next chapter of your life.  Remember that you will have good times and you will have hard times.  You will be on top of the world and you will fall hard.  Remember those that are there to pick you up and the love they have for you! Embrace the moments and always stop to remember them. Cherish the memories and above all else, know that you are loved!"