Pessoa USEF Medal Finals 2015 - the final one, ever....

I just experienced the last time I will ever step into the Farm Show Complex in Harrisburg, Pa. as the mother of a junior rider. How do I feel? Giddy and sad at the same time, if that's even possible! Eleven years we've sat in these stands watching 3 daughters compete in the Medal Finals. Eleven years of highs and lows, of sometimes not even making it around, sometimes your horse decides to rear going to a jump, sometimes the nerves are so much that you fly around the ring because you just want to get around! Sometimes you are on the standby... to get knocked off. Sometimes you never make the standby. Sometimes you are lucky enough to make the top 25. And then there is that time, this time, when your child says to you, "I just want to get a ribbon at finals." And she does! We couldn't be more proud of Lizzie and her journey.

We live in Michigan and Lizzie rides with Aaron Vale in Ocala, Florida.  Lizzie has been with Aaron since she was in 7th grade.  Lizzie attended Greenhills school, a college prep school and would fly to Florida to ride or meet Aaron at shows.  

Lizzie's Equitation horse, App For That got hurt the beginning of HITS this year. This was a devastating blow and he would be out 6-9 months. Lizzie tried many horses during HITS and while Aaron had gotten some lovely ones in from Europe, because it was her last Jr year, Lizzie wanted a horse that had already been to Indoors. 

I received a call from my friend Laura Hindle who owns Freedom, a lovely Equitation horse! In May, Freedom arrived at Aaron's and our wonderful journey with Freedom began! Just and FYI, Freedom will be for lease/sale the end of this month so ... get on that quick!!

Lizzie is a Freshman at the University of South Carolina and on the Equestrian team.  They had a meet on Friday, Lizzie competed in that, got in her car and headed to the airport to fly into Harrisburg! She arrived at 9:30pm, we headed to the Farm Show Complex for her to ride!

Saturday, Lizzie and Aaron talking over the warm up class.

Sunday morning!! 6:30am course walk and the first horse is in the ring at 7am! Lizzie drew the 188th spot so she had many trips to watch and 3 standby lists. Her time arrived, she and Freedom laid down a very solid trip but she had 50+ trips to sit through before the 4th standby list.  She was on it! The judges had a list of the top 25 riders that they would bring back for another round.  Lizzie was on it and in the 9th position! Another solid round! The judges would bring back the top 6 riders and test them! Lizzie was on that!!

Realizing this was my final time writing the standby list!

Lizzie and Freedom ended up 6th out of 280 riders!!  It was truly an incredible day and so much thanks goes to Aaron!!  He has been such wonderful trainer and has made a great impact on Lizzie's (and all of our) life! He is by far the best horseman there is and we feel extremely blessed to have had him train our girls!

To watch Lizzie and Freedom, here is the link:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPaUuAIDNxc

How great to have Lizzie's Head Coach, Boo Major,  from the University of South Carolina present!

Lizzie and Aaron, picture presentation!

A very special moment!

Our groom Lencho! The best guy!

At this point, we literally ran to the car to get Lizzie to the airport to head back to college!  We arrived 25 minutes before her flight was taking off! She made it! Eric and I started our drive back to Michigan, arriving home at 3am! I can't tell you what it meant to read every text, post, comment, etc.  

Next stop: Washington DC for Equitation Finals!  

Final Junior Equitation Year, A Mother's Reflection

After having 3 daughters compete on the A Circuit, in Hunter/Jumper/Equitation, I am currently sitting in the kitchen of some friends in Haverford, Pa.  Tomorrow we will pick up our youngest daughter Lizzie from the airport in Harrisburg for the beginning of the end of Equitation Finals.  We've been attending Medal, Maclay, USET, WIHS one, all or a mixture of some since 2004. (Seriously, isn't there an award for the parents who've sat through 11 years of Equitation Finals?!!)

If I'm completely honest, as much of a nervous wreck as I was at the first one in 2004, I'm equally feeling the nerves with this being the FINAL. I always knew there was "next year" and it's such a mixture of feelings knowing this is it as a Junior Rider.

Here is what we've always tried to convey to our daughters:

1) This (riding) doesn't define who you are as a person, it is PART of who you are.  We've worked hard to keep a balance in your life and have been fortunate enough to make that happen. 

2) Faith: Stay grounded and humble.  I'm incredibly thankful that each of you girls have experienced going on mission trips and having a heart for those less fortunate. 

3) Family: No matter how crazed someone makes you, we are family.  Your family will always be there, through the good and the bad.  Friends will come and go but WE, family, are the ones that will help to pick up the pieces or cheer the loudest or cry (mom) when my heart is so proud of you I feel like it will explode!

4) Education: This is something no one can ever take away from you.  It might be a pain, you might not want to do the homework, but you need it.  Will you have to learn things you might not ever use in your life? Most likely. But it's more than that. It's a growing experience you shouldn't miss out on. You will grow/mature in ways you didn't know you could. I promise!

So as I'm reflecting on this amazing, joyful, painful, emotional, ecstatic, gut- wrenching journey, here is what I want our daughters to know:  

Your father and I are so incredibly proud of you! 

To Emily: For starting us on this journey. As the firstborn, you were the leader and at times the guinea pig. We learned what we should and shouldn't do in regards to horses. You were the leader in our journey.  You graduated from high school and went to the University Of Georgia.  You were part of the Equestrian team, you were part of a National Champion team. Was it all roses? Absolutely not.  Have you learned valuable lessons? Absolutely.  We are incredibly proud of the fact that you were working for Carter's (baby clothes) a month after you graduated from college. The fact that you do Product Development and Sourcing for Little Baby Basics and Carter's seasonal bodysuit pant sets (boys and girls lines) still boggles my mind! We are so proud of you Emily!! Keep moving forward and be true to who you are!

To Sarah: To our middle child who honestly makes us laugh daily. You came into the horses I believe by being the middle child, it seemed like the thing to do. You are cautious by nature and when we started riding with Aaron Vale, you were pushed outside your comfort zone immediately! You never had a desire to do Jumpers and went on to win the NAL Jumper Classic

http://www.barnmice.com/profiles/blogs/sarah-van-der-walde-won-the-10-000-north-american-league-children

https://youtu.be/_zAjeRFWAYA

You will jokingly say this is where you peaked and it was all downhill from there.  While this was a peak moment for you, you pushed through other not so comfortable times.  You, by your choice, made the decision to not compete in your last Junior year. You were accepted into the University of Michigan and chose to pursue the next chapter of your life there.  While this didn't include the competitiveness of the Equestrian world, you have embraced being in a sorority, Kappa Kappa Gamma. You are now a Junior in the School of Information, hoping to have a Minor in German and Applied Statistics.... You amaze us! 

To Lizzie: The baby of the family and in all honesty, the one who benefited the most when it comes to riding. You started this riding journey when you were 3.  Some will say that you are naturally talented at this.  We still say, family, faith and education before this. Your high school education and riding is what had you being a top recruit in riding in college. While there were several colleges recruiting you, you had your heart set on one, the University of South Carolina. As it turned out, by chance, they were your last college visit. While others offered you more in scholarship, you knew that South Carolina was where you belonged.  As your parents, we couldn't agree more.  

As you are finishing the end of your last Junior year, remember this. Remember who you are and where you come from. Remember that you are an amazing person and you have an incredible journey ahead of you. Listen to those that are giving you advice and constructive criticism. Enjoy this journey!!  Do your very best and be happy with it!

In the end, we love each of you for where you are and we are your biggest cheerleaders! 

As your mom, I will continue to cry at the drop of a hat.  I am your biggest fan and your worst critic, but in the end, I will always love you.  

Mom

  

Slowly retiring from my full-time job...

                                    Job Description: MOM

Duties: Anything and everything, things you knew you could do and things you had no idea you were capable of doing, things that make you laugh and things that make you fall to the floor in a pile of goo and cry.

Length of employment: Forever

I joined the workforce of MOM in 1992.  I took on additional jobs in 1995 and 1997.  This is the hardest job I've EVER had.  Seriously, the hardest.  So hard that I wish I had added more jobs to my resume.  (There has to be a little crazy in there somewhere to keep adding on job after job!) 

I have been fortunate to work full time at my job. But my full time job has been fading into part time over the last few years.  I've seen it coming, the writing on the wall.... your jobs start to be taken over by themselves.  You know that's how it should be but you really want to keep your full time job.  I mean come on, no one knows this job the way I do right?! How can this job have any idea what it takes to see it through the day?! And yet, it does....  or it doesn't and the job will now have it's own growing pains and learning curves.

I have mixed feelings of heading into semi-retirement. The freedom that comes with it feels exciting yet scary and at times I feel bad about being excited!! Sometimes I feel like we should get more dogs. I've mentioned this to Eric on several occasions and he walks out of the room.... The scary part is that sometimes I feel like our "jobs" will no longer need us when the reality is that they do, and they will.  It will just be on a whole new level.  

I'm choosing to embrace the joy that will come from being an empty nester.  I'm wanting to go from room to room purging and this makes Eric very nervous... In truth, I've been purging over the last year and I do it when he is out of town! The amount of "stuff" accumulated over the years is mind boggling! We have some boxes in the basement labeled "LAKE HOUSE" that I swear to you has been there for 10+ years. I'm guessing that when the day comes that I get my lake house, I will not want what is in those boxes... 

Our youngest is graduating high school in one week. ONE WEEK!!! CRAP! So much to do!!! And yet I sit here procrastinating... or maybe I've realized that everything will get done and it will all be fine.  Nope... procrastinating for sure... but as usual, when I get so overwhelmed with what needs to be done, I just sit because I can't decide what to do first. The washing machine just beeped that it's done, there is a pile of clothes in a chair that needs to be folded, there are rooms that need to be cleaned because we have company coming into town starting Sunday!!!  And yet, I sit here... The reality is that I will shove things in unused rooms/closets and shut the door and say to myself, "I'll do all that after the kids leave for college" 

Oh and if you need me, I'll most likely be looking at pictures and getting all emotional, because it's just what I do....

  

Our firstborn has completed college and has a big girl job...

I am always amazed at how fast time flies by and equally amazed that I don't stop and enjoy it more. If you are like me, you have good intentions but then you get back on that wheel of life and keep spinning!

This past December was crazy for us!! Emily, our firstborn graduated from The University of Georgia on Dec 19th.... when I think of that moment, it does make me pause. I have a college graduate...

My college graduate has a job! A big girl, real job! Emily graduated with a Major in Fashion Merchandising and a Minor in Product Development.  She has accepted a position with Carter's (yep, the baby clothes) corporate office in Atlanta, Georgia!  She will be the Global Sourcing Coordinator.  She will be responsible with communicating with the factories overseas when they send them orders and making sure that it's done under the right codes.  She will be working with quality apparel to make sure that the clothes are being made properly etc.  She will be in communication with the factories to make sure that all orders are done and shipped on time and that they end up at the proper places!  The factories are in Asia and she will get the opportunity to travel and visit the factories. 

We are incredibly proud of her and her accomplishments!  Looking forward to seeing what this next chapter of your life has in store!!  Enjoy this time sweet girl!

Mom

Congrats, you have Sleep Apnea!

When it has gotten to the point where everyone has banned me from sleeping anywhere within a 3 mile radius, because of my snoring, it appears I should get this checked out! Now don't get me wrong.... it is, on some level, kind of glamorous sleeping in a king sized bed with the pups, but it does make family vacations and sharing rooms at horse shows a bit difficult.  Not for me mind you!! 

So, like a good wife/mother, I got set up for an in home sleep study!

Come on, let's be honest... there's something sexy about being strapped up to machines meant to test you for Sleep Apnea!  You're welcome....

Approximately 10 days later my doctor's office calls and says, "Call this number to set up an appointment, you have Sleep Apnea."  Ok....

Today was my appointment!! (insert mean face)

Dr: "Were you told you have Sleep Apnea?"
Me: "Yes"
Dr: "Were you told the results of the test?"
Me: "no"
Dr: "You are what we call "SEVERE" 

Ok, so at this moment I'm thinking to myself "Yes, I'm pretty dramatic but severe? Come on Doc...."

Dr: "Everyone has interrupted sleep of some form each night. Normal is 5 or less times per hour.  Yours was 37.5 times per hour and at times you quit breathing for up to 10 seconds."

Wow, can we just take a minute and realize how impressive that it?!! Yikes! 

But I feel fine!!!  So I'm not your classic Sleep Apnea person, but let's be honest, we already knew that! All the symptoms of Sleep Apnea.... nope, don't have.  When he examined my throat, basically, in layman's lingo, the hole at the back of my throat that helps me breath is small and constricted..... Oh, and for most of the night I was getting 91% oxygen which is great but at some points, it dropped to 83%... not so great....

So what's next?!! I get to go for a sleep study at the clinic in one of their fancy rooms and be hooked up to lots of things, oh, and they will even be video taping me.... creepy.  

Most likely I'll get a new friend called CPAP.  I think we will be great friends!  When I told Eric all this, he immediately wanted to order a machine! He was freaked out that I wasn't going in for a month for my sleep study! So I'm thinking about milking this for as long as I can! "Hey Eric, remember when you were mad at me the other day?  I stop breathing for up to 10 seconds at a time! Many times a night!!  So be nice to me!!!!" 

I also told Lizzie that she should be extra nice to me, or just nice to me because of my Sleep Apnea... I was really dramatic about the 37.5 times per hour, etc!  She just looked at me.... I think she actually smirked... damn kids....

On a serious note, if I have to have something wrong with me, I welcome Sleep Apnea.  I'm thankful as I know it could always be worse.  I'm blessed.  I will embrace my Sleep Apnea and be thankful that it can be taken care of.

Stay tuned when we welcome CPAP to the family!

Winter and baking...

Such and odd thing for me but when it snows, I get in the baking mood! Now thankfully, for all involved, this last..... about a day or two!

Today I made some healthy carrot muffins and boy were they delicious! 
http://minimalistbaker.com/one-bowl-carrot-apple-muffins-vegan-gf/

As I was biting into my second muffin, Eric came in and tried one and was equally impressed!  I was showing him the healthy recipe and as we scrolled down we saw that each muffin is 203 calories!!  HEALTHY ISN'T SUPPOSED TO HAVE THAT MANY CALORIES!! At least that's what I want to believe!  

So instead of eating 3 delicious healthy muffins in one sitting, I'll eat 1 very very slowly!  I'm attaching the recipe - I know you will enjoy these as much as I have!

http://minimalistbaker.com/one-bowl-carrot-apple-muffins-vegan-gf/

The year 2015, a clean slate.

Am I the only one that is looking at the entire year as a clean slate? Does this mean that 2014 was horrible? No. Does it mean it had more moments that I wish hadn't happen? Most likely yes... Do the good moments outweigh the bad? ABSOLUTELY.  So then, why is it that the bad moments are the ones that get put on repeat in my brain? 

My goal for 2015 is to train my brain to highlight the good more than the bad. 

If I'm to be honest, I will tell you that 2014 was an emotionally/spiritually  challenging year for me.  I won't go into detail because that would involve other people and their hearts and that's just unfair. My heart was tested more than I thought possible by family near and far and by walking through the fire with a friend as she fights her own battle.  

Spiritually: Pretty much felt like I was in the valley the entire year.  Have you ever felt that way? Feeling spiritually numb? Yep, that was me in 2014.  I went through all the motions, church, women's bible study and volunteering.  I did what I was supposed to do but for me, the passion and the hunger was missing. I do believe that without my women's small group, I might have slipped down that hole.... I am certain that they will read this and be like, "I had NO idea!" and "why didn't you talk to us?!" But for me, having the commitment and the time with them kept my head above water as I was treading through the year.  This group of women kept the flame alive.  They are my spiritual rope and pull me up when I'm sinking.  If you don't have a group or person that is your spiritual rope, I highly recommend it.  Maybe you are that rope for someone. We all need someone to pull us up when we are slipping.

Emotionally: I am a mom to 3 daughters (ages 22, 19, 17) and I'm quite certain that menopause is lurking very close by! So given the ages of our daughters and me in mid-life, I'd say the emotional roller coaster could be a part of our life for a while! So given that, I have to learn to take a very deep breath.  I have to learn to think before I speak. I have to learn that repeating myself 15-20 times might be a bit overkill.  I have to learn to let go. (WHAT?? *&^%##%^$) Ok, maybe I start with baby steps! I have to learn that people, including myself, only post the good on social media!!!  Oh, if our lives were really how we portray them to be.... I mean, everything I post is true but I only post the good, the happy, the motivating, the "everything is roses" because honestly people, you don't want me to post the messy stuff!!  Besides, we all have messy stuff, messy lives, we are hurt, we are broken, we are a mess! And that's just part of life!  

So with all the good and all the messy, 2015 is a clean slate.  Let's all start fresh, let's reach for those that keep our head above water, let's be present in the lives of those that means the most to us.  Let's remember that family, no matter how emotional they make us, they are OURS and no matter what, those people will be the ones standing, waiting, hugging, loving and forgiving us when we are at our worst! Let's try and be a little more gentle with them, after all, they will be around the longest.....