Tuesday, January 6, 2015

The year 2015, a clean slate.

Am I the only one that is looking at the entire year as a clean slate? Does this mean that 2014 was horrible? No. Does it mean it had more moments that I wish hadn't happen? Most likely yes... Do the good moments outweigh the bad? ABSOLUTELY.  So then, why is it that the bad moments are the ones that get put on repeat in my brain? 

My goal for 2015 is to train my brain to highlight the good more than the bad. 

If I'm to be honest, I will tell you that 2014 was an emotionally/spiritually  challenging year for me.  I won't go into detail because that would involve other people and their hearts and that's just unfair. My heart was tested more than I thought possible by family near and far and by walking through the fire with a friend as she fights her own battle.  

Spiritually: Pretty much felt like I was in the valley the entire year.  Have you ever felt that way? Feeling spiritually numb? Yep, that was me in 2014.  I went through all the motions, church, women's bible study and volunteering.  I did what I was supposed to do but for me, the passion and the hunger was missing. I do believe that without my women's small group, I might have slipped down that hole.... I am certain that they will read this and be like, "I had NO idea!" and "why didn't you talk to us?!" But for me, having the commitment and the time with them kept my head above water as I was treading through the year.  This group of women kept the flame alive.  They are my spiritual rope and pull me up when I'm sinking.  If you don't have a group or person that is your spiritual rope, I highly recommend it.  Maybe you are that rope for someone. We all need someone to pull us up when we are slipping.

Emotionally: I am a mom to 3 daughters (ages 22, 19, 17) and I'm quite certain that menopause is lurking very close by! So given the ages of our daughters and me in mid-life, I'd say the emotional roller coaster could be a part of our life for a while! So given that, I have to learn to take a very deep breath.  I have to learn to think before I speak. I have to learn that repeating myself 15-20 times might be a bit overkill.  I have to learn to let go. (WHAT?? *&^%##%^$) Ok, maybe I start with baby steps! I have to learn that people, including myself, only post the good on social media!!!  Oh, if our lives were really how we portray them to be.... I mean, everything I post is true but I only post the good, the happy, the motivating, the "everything is roses" because honestly people, you don't want me to post the messy stuff!!  Besides, we all have messy stuff, messy lives, we are hurt, we are broken, we are a mess! And that's just part of life!  

So with all the good and all the messy, 2015 is a clean slate.  Let's all start fresh, let's reach for those that keep our head above water, let's be present in the lives of those that means the most to us.  Let's remember that family, no matter how emotional they make us, they are OURS and no matter what, those people will be the ones standing, waiting, hugging, loving and forgiving us when we are at our worst! Let's try and be a little more gentle with them, after all, they will be around the longest.....

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