Losing loved ones.

December 26, 2012   I lost a family friend to liver cancer. He was diagnosed January of 2012.  I went to see Charlie in August, he got tired easily but was still going to work.  It was a wonderful visit but on my drive from Columbus back to Michigan I had time to think about the fact that plans were being made for when he was no longer alive.  I mean, his wife and I talked about this and the things that Charlie wanted to make sure were in place for her, trying to decide if they should sell their home because he didn't want her to have to take care of their large property, etc.  Having the "I probably won't make it to the end of the year" conversation was very real.  I had 3 hours to let this soak in and wondered how I, if given the same diagnosis, would handle it.  Charlie took a hot air balloon ride, walked one of his daughters down the isle and connected with old friends.  I went back to see Charlie December 9th and he wasn't doing very well.  I felt certain that would be the last time I saw him alive.  We didn't think he would make it the week.  I had to be back in Columbus on Dec 17th with Emily and we went to see him again.  He was so proud of my girls when we talked about their riding, Sarah being accepted to colleges and Emily interviewing for Internships.  Before we left, Charlie told Teri that they needed to contact their neighbor who works for Limited Brands and put a good word in for Emily.  That was Charlie, always thinking of others.  That was to be my last hug and last goodbye to Charlie.  He died 9 days later.  Charlie was 57.


January 5, 2012   I just returned home from the viewing of the mother of a friend.  Wendy's mother passed away on Wednesday.  It was very fast.  Wendy saw her mom at 10am Wed morning and she passed away at 11pm that night. I didn't know Wendy's mother but listening to Wendy talk about all the things her mother taught her and her love of horses and the plans they had of doing things together broke my heart.  There was no time to make plans, no time for talking about what you would like to have done with your home, your animals, etc.  It happened so fast.  Wendy is still numb and in shock as anyone would be.  

Death happens, none of us can avoid it.  Will we ever be prepared?  I don't think so, no matter how well we have things in order or how fast it happens, no one if fully prepared for death.  

Hug your kids, your spouse, your parents, your friends.  Stop and listen, really listen when they speak to you.  I find myself half listening if I'm doing something else I think is more important.  Nothing is more important than the relationships we have with those we love.  I have promised myself to be in the moment when someone is talking to me.  I hope you will too.