Reflecting

This is one of probably under 5 times I've been in my home by myself.  I'm really not good by myself.  I know it's good for me and there is a small part of me that enjoys it… for about an hour…. When life is so chaotic, I crave the quiet.  Although, as I'm typing this, I've got Pandora on, so you see… I really can't even do "quiet".  

Eric has gone to a friends lake house doing guy things like driving around on the frozen lake or some crazy stuff like that.  

Emily is in Georgia but never far away, thankful for the phone calls I get as she is going from place to place.  I'm blessed she chooses to call me "just because".

Sarah, while in college but only 4.7 miles away.  I love that I can pick her up, go to lunch, run her to the mall to get her glasses fixed, drop off an application (yes, she is applying to J.Crew, her favorite store which means that she will be working for her wardrobe if hired!)

Lizzie who is at her school Winter Formal with one of her dear friends Annie.  Those two literally crack me up.  I love the realness of their friendship and how they truly adore/annoy each other.  While others will be with dates, I believe they will look back on this time and be thankful they shared it with each other.

So here I sit.  And my first thought is how thankful I am for all that has been given to me.  Thankful for the every day challenges that occur.  Thankful for the privilege of raising three amazing young ladies and that God chose me to be their mom!  Thankful that HE knew the many times I have and will fail as a parent but trusts me anyway!  Incredibly thankful for God's grace and knowing that HE knew I needed this time to reflect and be thankful.  

It's the unexpected times of being alone that turn out to be some of the best times…..

Thankful….

Worshipping... I wonder if God is tapping his toes....

Sunday nights are our High School student ministry group.  One hundred + geeky, awkward, cool, athletic, brainiac, artistic high schoolers come to either experience the God they know and love or are curious and want to find out why some students they know LOVE going to church!  

There is hangout time, a talk which is always given in a way that high schoolers can relate to, cool videos used for announcements that the high school pastors, directors and even volunteers participate in.

And then there is music.  Awesome, solid, rockin Christian music!  This isn't your typical hymn music!  I get the pleasure of taking pics of our Worship Team and last night was awesome!  If you didn't know better, you would think you were at a concert.  The lights, the music, the jumping on a speaker by one of the high school musicians... it was a concert alright, a concert for God.  I wondered as I was witnessing this time, if God was up tapping his toe to the beat.  Maybe snapping his fingers and maybe, just maybe, when no one was looking, He stood up and danced!  

"That's Why I'm Here": The Chris and Stefanie Spielman Story

I just finished watching Chris on Fox & Friends talking about his newly released book.   I will forever consider it a true blessing to have known Stefanie for 12 short years.  I met Stefanie when we moved to Columbus, Ohio.  I joined a women's group that raised money for the Children's Hospital.  I believe it was 2-3 months after we joined this group that Stefanie was diagnosed with Breast Cancer.  


I don't want to take anything away from the book and I'm not saying this because I know Chris and was friends with Stefanie but YOU NEED TO READ THIS BOOK!  I don't even like football (sorry Chris) and I enjoyed reading those parts!!  


Stefanie died the day after mine and Eric's 20th wedding anniversary.  We were in Mexico celebrating when I got an email from a friend saying she had passed.  I will never forget the plane ride home, it was at night and I was in the window seat.  I had my eyes closed and I was praying for Chris, for their children and knowing that she was no longer in pain, I felt a calmness and a vision came into my mind of Stefanie wrapped in God's arms and I heard very clearly, "Job well done my faithful servant, job well done"  That moment will stay with me forever and I'm thankful for knowing Stefanie.  


Chris Spielman on Fox & Friends
http://www.foxnews.com/on-air/fox-friends/index.html#/v/1614657203001/chris-spielman-tackles-cancer/?playlist_id=86912


Link for the book:


http://www.amazon.com/Thats-Why-Im-Here-ebook/dp/B005PMY1MQ/ref=dp_kinw_strp_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2

And if you are on Facebook, simply search Chris Spielman and "Like" his page.  You will be encouraged on a daily basis.  


Live each day as if it were the last one you are given.  We all fall short of this.  Love others, show kindness, lend a hand.  Offer encouraging words, be a positive example and think, "how do I want others to remember me?"


The bible verse Stefanie held on to:


Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.


Thank you Stef for your friendship, thank you Chris for sharing so much of your life.  

Am I A Closet Christian?

I've often wondered this.  Do I talk about God when it feels "safe"?  When I'm around other Christians?  I have wondered if an Athiest wanted to chat with me about this so called "God", could I do it?  Do I know enough? Am I good enough?  Am I strong enough?  


I have found that for me, I would hope my actions speak louder than words.  I am a believer in paying it forward.  I believe in helping those that WANT to help themselves but they can't.  I believe in helping the young couple starting out in their marriage, especially when they remind me of Eric and I when we started our life together, and seeing the determination in their eyes.  I believe in listening when God places a family on my heart and a dollar amount, handing it to them and hearing, "We just had some car trouble and weren't sure how we were going to pay for it".  I believe in finding out about the single mom who won't be able to provide Christmas for her two children, putting money in an envelope and having someone give it to her.  I believe in mentoring and praying that I can make a difference in someone's life.  I believe in doing what is right, sometimes that doesn't mean it will be easy.  I believe in honesty, which I know I haven't always been.  I believe in trying my very best to be a good example to my daughters.  I know I've failed miserably at times but I hope that one day, they can look back and see that there was more good than bad.  I believe that children should face hurt, anger, disappointment, happiness, boredom, etc.  I believe that thanking God for the hard times is just as important as thanking Him for the good times.  The good times are just easier to be thankful for!  


My hope is that I'm not a Closet Christian.  My hope is that people can see God through me through my actions.  Do I even fail at this?  Absolutely.  Do I at times do or say something and then think, "wow, maybe that should've stayed in the closet"  But, I know that this is how we grow and how we learn and the beauty is that everyone fails.  Everyone falls on their face.  I'm thankful for second, third, fourth... chances.  I'm thankful for a God who loves me unconditionally even with my garbage.  I'm thankful that I've been forgiven.  I'm thankful for the opportunity to "pay it forward" to others.  


While I might not know the Bible from beginning to end and have many questions, I'm thankful for the opportunity to learn.  You won't ever see me standing on the street preaching (totally NOT my gift) but we all have our gifts and I believe mine is doing my best to Walk the Talk.  Can people know I'm a Christian by how I act?  How I treat others?  Do people know my heart?  I hope so.  I hope I continue to get phones calls that say, "I need you to pray for me". I think that is the best compliment one could get.  Having someone ask you to pray for them or someone they know or a situation, and that someone isn't in your inner "Christian" circle.  I like to pretent God and I high five on those moments!  Me jumping as high as I can with my hand in the air!!


I'll close with my favorite verse, Jeremiah 29:11


"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Who am I to lead these young ladies?

I have had the immense honor of leading a group of young ladies at our church.  Two in fact!  I am often in awe of how God would use me, an ordinary woman, learning along side them about our Creator.  I know for a fact that I've learned more from them than they have from me! 


 My first group, currently going into 11th grade (so hard to believe!) were mere 8th graders when we first sat on the floor together and got to know each other.  We would get roughly 30 minutes to talk about the "talk", all the while, creating a bond that has seen us through boys, school, life, death, sports, etc.  We've been on retreats together, day mission trips, sleepovers, dinners before Velocity (high school ministry), we've laughed together, we've cried together and we've prayed for each other.  They are some of the most selfless girls I've met!   Their love for others blows me away.  They have endured my TV rants:  Teen Mom, 16 and Pregnant, Jersey Shore, Secret Life of the American Teenager, just to name a few.   They put up with me when I go into "mom" mode!  We talk about how hard it is to be a Christian teenager.  They know this all too well each day when they walk into their school.  They want to do the right thing, they want to step out and be different, not to follow the crowd.  Is it easy?  Not at all.  Will they or have they made mistakes, wrong choices?  Sure some have, but the thing that I hope they remember is that as a group, we love each other unconditionally.  They know that we won't judge each other but encourage and lift each other up.  We all fall sometimes, but it helps to know who will be there to brush your knees off and hug you.  I am so thankful that I was chosen to be a small part of their lives.  I look forward to continuing to watch them grow in life!!


My other group are some amazing soon to be eighth graders!  I got them as mere 6th graders and again, the conversations we will have about life, God, etc continue to blow me away!   They are not shy in group and not afraid to give their thoughts.  I love that we offer a place where they can feel comfortable enough to say what they think and ask questions.  This is also a group of young ladies that have a heart for others.  They want to help, they go on mission trips, they attend day mission trips etc.  I love that at their age, they can see the need of thinking of others!

My soon to be 8th graders!

Eric and his appendix

It is currently 12:12am as I sit down to type this.  I got home from the hospital about 11:30pm to chat with Lizzie for a few minutes and eat some of her leftover Chinese food.
My husband, whom I love ever so dearly, had his appendix removed this evening.  Eric is 48 years old and has NEVER had surgery before.  We have been married for 21 years (in November) and the man has basically been a picture of health.  Apparently last night his stomach started bothering him.  What else do you do when that happens?  You eat a bowl of cereal!  This didn’t seem to do the trick so he went to bed and was awaken at 2am with severe lower abdominal pain.  What do you do when this happens?  You get up and google “severe abdominal pain” and you quickly rule out appendix because your symptoms don’t match with the Mayo Clinic!  Ok… (thank God for the internet right?!)  Now keep in mind that I’ve slept quite peacefully and had NO idea he was having a sleepless night.  This morning he didn’t look so good, but he had just gotten up so I was cutting him some slack.  He  told me about his night (thank you God for allowing me to be a sound sleeper!) and I said, “Well let’s get you to the ER”  I think what he heard was, “Well let’s cut your body in half” because he said, “no, I just need to lie down”  After taking the girls to school and returning home (side note: at the light turning onto our street the car in front of me was just sitting there when the light had turned green so I honked, only to follow the car INTO my subdivision and find out it was my neighbor!  A sorry email was quickly sent), Eric was sitting at the kitchen table and said, “maybe I need some coffee”.  I’m no rocket scientist but hmm….  after taking a few sips he went to bed.  I went into our room and told him we were going to the doctor.  He of course had to take a shower.  By the time we got to the doctor is was about 10am.  At about noon they called me back and told me that I was to take him directly to the Emergency room because they couldn’t rule out appendix.  How could the internet have been wrong???  So off we go to the ER.  Let me now say that I loathe the ER.  We arrived at 12:30pm and after all was said and done, we got back to the real ER at 6pm.  I would like to add that Eric did have to drink 4 glasses of something each half hour starting at 2pm so that did take some time.  They gave him some pain meds and it was magical how happy he became!  Now when they wore off….  he might have resembled a drug addict!  The resident surgeon came and saw us and told us that it was in fact an appendicitis and that he would be having surgery at approx 10pm (this was 7pm).  I was thinking that I would go home, spend some time with the girls, etc and the next thing we knew they said that people said they would stay and do his surgery and off he was!  He was like a movie star being escorted to a premier!  He went into surgery around 8:45pm and the doctor came and talked to me about 10:10pm.  She said it all went well but when they got in the appendix was “grey” and “deadlike” so it was about to rupture.  It was good that they caught it!  I am truly thankful for that!
Here are some memorable moments from today:
After Eric got his first pain shot and was sitting in a chair with his legs propped up:
Eric: “oh my gosh, as soon as my head quit spinning, this is the best feeling ever”
    ”hey, I was going to ask you something but I forgot”
   “hey, if it’s my appendix, do you think they can do it laprascopy?”
  ”this is really good stuff… you might find me wandering Detroit looking for this”
Honestly, I was just praying he would stop talking and sleep!  The pain meds started to wear off…..
  ”wow, I really need some medication”
  ”I’m starting to feel like I did before the medication and that wasn’t a good feeling”
  ”Sharon, you need to tell them that I need some meds”
I gently reminded him about the lady in the room next to us that had literally been crying for HOURS in pain.  I am not kidding.  I felt so sorry for them.  She and her husband had been there since before us and she was crying so hard.   He reminded me that HE was in pain.  I ignored him.
When we got back to what I call the “real” ER, it was all business.  Two guys, I’m not sure what they were called but they weren’t doctors but they did all the prep work came in and were really quite funny!  Eric was shooting his one liners right back at them and they were all having a great time until they left and he had told them that the meds had worn off and he was in pain again.
“Sharon, listen to them, they are out there talking, laughing and having a great time and I’m in pain”
Me:  ”Eric, until you’ve given birth to three children and had an ectopic pregnancy that resulted in surgery, I don’t want to hear how bad your pain is.”
Eric:  ”But I’m in pain right now and all they have to do is bring me the medicine”
Me: “this might be a lesson in patience.  It could have been worse.  It is your appendix.  Big deal, you don’t need it anyway!  We are not promised a life without difficulties so be thankful that this is all it is.  Stop complaining about it, it could be a lot worse.”
This seemed to make him pause for a second.  It reminded me that we are not promised a life without trials or struggles.  We need to remember that there is someone else who is hurting or struggling more than we are.  We need to look at the situation and see it for what it is.  An appendix?  What the heck does it do for us anyway?  Nothing but possibly give us some trouble and surgery to have it removed!  It’s not cancer.  Thank you God!  So many things to be thankful for so instead of thinking “why me?”  we need to think “Thank you God, it could’ve been worse”
On a side note, Eric’s fever spiked before surgery and in the recovery room he got quite sick and freaked out.  He later told me that he might not have been so nice.  I’m sure they understood!  They told me where he would be after recovery so I went there.  When they wheeled him into the room he said, “Are the girls here?”  I said, “No, they are at home” and he said, “Ok, I don’t want them to see me like this.”  The nurse that had him in recovery looked at me, put her hand to her heart and about lost it!  She mouthed, “that was so sweet”
He is.  I’m thankful that he is my husband and the father of my girls and that he takes such good care of us!  I’m not sure what kind of nurse I’ll be…. I’m afraid I’m not a very good one.  Hopefully that won’t be another blog.
Arriving at the hospital Wednesday morning:
Eric looks so much better!  He was telling me that he was up and going to the bathroom and was walking down the hall with the IV thing only to have walked all the way with his “friend” and realized that he wasn’t hooked up to an IV!!!  That must have been a sight!
The doctor came in and talked about the surgery.  She said she was amazed at how bad the appendix was (but hadn’t ruptured) and how high his fever was right before going into surgery.  She said that when he came out of recovery, apparently he was trying to get off the bed and telling people to “stay away from him”!  She said he at one point started swinging!  Eric just laughed as he had no recollection of this!  She said, “We see it a lot, especially in men”!
Some more memorable moments:
I went to the pharmacy to get Eric’s Vicodin perscription and wow, this hospital is amazing!   The gift shop is UNBELIEVABLE, the coffee shop is AMAZING!  They have a spa and salon…… had I only known sooner!  I did buy some hand lotion because I’m sure hand lotion from the hospital is so much better right?!  When I got back to Eric’s room I gave him the prescription and told him it was $3.  His response, “Did you tell them we’ll take a lot more at that price?”
Talked with Emily and had some fun conversation.
Emily: “How’s dad feeling?”
Me: “Oh he’s fine”
Eric: (in the background) “Emily don’t listen to her, the only reason I’m fine is because I’m on Vicodin.  I’m not fine I had surgery last night”
Emily: “Mom, be nice to dad when you get him home.  When he asks for tea, get it for him, don’t leave it in the microwave like you would do with me.”  (I think I see some therapy in her future!)
Emily: “Mom, don’t tell dad where my Vicodin is”
Me: “You have Vicodin?”
Emily: “Yes mom, when I went to the hospital for my back and they gave it to me but I never took it but don’t let Dad know!”
Me: “I don’t even know where it is”
Emily: “I think it’s on the table next to your bed.”
*I feel this conversation is wrong on so many levels!!

A Funny Thing Happned - Update

When I decided to start blogging, I found this “A funny thing happened” email that I had sent to family and friends and felt that it was important to share.  The thing that was so hard to believe was that it was 4 years ago!  I’d like to fill you in on what has happened since then.  Through our Ride for the Ribbon, and the many people that help support it, we’ve helped to raise money for Breast Cancer Research.  To date, Stefanie’s fund has raised over $7million dollars!
I have to tell you the impact that Stefanie Spielman had on my life.  I met Stefanie when we moved to Columbus, Ohio in 1997.  Stefanie and I both joined a women’s group that raised money for the local Children’s Hospital.  Shortly after, (in 1998) Stefanie was diagnosed with Breast Cancer.  For all the information, you can go to http://cancer.osu.edu/waystogive/about/funds/spielman/Pages/index.aspx
and please watch the video that was shown at this past luncheon.  Many of you may know Chris Spielman who played for Ohio State and then went on to play for the Detroit Lions.  Chris retired after Stefanie was diagnosed.  He said, “What kind of husband would I be if I didn’t stick to my vows, in sickness and in health?”  He knew the importance of family and commitment.  Chris and Stefanie went on to establish The Stefanie Spielman Fund because Stefanie knew that they shouldn’t keep this quiet, they had a mission to accomplish.  Stefanie and Chris went on to have 2 more children during this fight.  Their four children are so amazing.  Maddie, their oldest who just turned 16 rides horses and we were at the same barn so we became family friends.  After Stefanie was diagnosed, I, along with my friend Kathy Brown started Ride for the Ribbon.  Horse shows hold a class and all or a portion of the proceeds go to Stefanie’s fund.
I have to tell you that the Spielman family has such an amazing relationship with God.  Their faith is what has carried them through this ordeal.  Stefanie would say, “I’m not afraid to die because I know where I am going.”  And she used this to share her faith with others.  This is a family that you look at and you know that their faith is so incredibly important.  Stefanie told her children, “Don’t use my death as an excuse to  keep you from doing things, let it push you to do great  things”  Their family and their faith in God always inspired me and I would look at Stefanie with such admiration, courage, hope and I have to tell you that my prayer to God was, “please let Stefanie be a miracle, heal her God and let people know what you can do.”  In the end, Stefanie was His and she was put here on earth to do many things.  And she did.  She was such an example of faith.  When Emily was quite young, she said to me, “Mom, I think Mrs. Spielman is an angel put here on earth for us to learn from.”  She was so right.  My dear friend passed away on November 20, 2009.  Eric and I were in Mexico celebrating our 20 yr anniversary when my friend Kathy sent me an email letting me know Stef had passed.  I cannot tell you the sadness I felt on many levels.  Stefanie was such a dear friend and such an example of what a mother, a wife and a follower of God should be and I will forever miss her.  When Eric and I were flying home from Mexico and I was on the plane praying for Stef, I heard the words: “Job well done my faithful servant, job well done”  and I knew that she was right where she should be which was right beside God and she was completely healed and no longer in pain.  How can one not rejoice that?!  I went to her funeral in Columbus, which was truly a celebration of her life.  That is a family that completely trusts God and knows that Stefanie is in such a better place.  I am in awe of this family and their faith.