As everyone knows, making the decision to put your pet down is never easy. We ended 2015 with doing just that.
Our dog Missy, who was 15, had a tumor on her leg that could not be completely removed because of it's location. They could remove some of it, or amputate the leg.... 1) Putting a 15 year old through a surgery to not remove all is was not ok in my mind. 2) Amputating the leg of a 15 year old was not even a consideration.
Did I mention that Missy was deaf and had cataracts?
Even when it seems like the right thing to do, you question yourself.
I've sat on the kitchen floor and cried contemplating this decision while Missy came over, wagged her tail and nudged my face as if to say, "It's ok, it's my time"
Eric and I were going to have her put down before the girls came home for Christmas. I wanted to shield them from the hurt, but then I realized that Missy has been with them for 15 years, such a huge part of their life. I sent a text to all three girls telling them (they knew at Thanksgiving it would be happening but we didn't know WHEN) that I felt her leg was starting to bother her and we felt it was time. I asked if they wanted to be with her and all 3 said yes. I cried. Again. I cried because it meant so much to me that they wanted to be with her, honestly, I'm not sure I could've done it at their age.
The only time all 3 girls were going to be home was at Christmas so the day after Christmas we left for the vet. We knew we wanted to bury Missy on our property so Eric had previously dug a hole because we didn't know if it was going to be snowing. Thankfully this was a no snow Christmas. Here are some things I'd love to share with you on this subject:
~If you have children, don't assume they don't want to be part of it. Don't think you are shielding them from pain. Let them make that decision.
~Talk to your vet, ours was so supportive. Find out the details. Our vet had a separate room with a couple of chairs and a rug so it wasn't the "sterile" room. There were tons of treats and they encouraged us to give her as many as we wanted.
~Our vet was so kind and told us exactly how the procedure would happen. She gave us time to hang out with Missy. There is absolutely no way to prepare yourself for this. We talked to her (even though she was deaf) and loved on her and I will tell you, Missy knew she was loved. There is no doubt in my mind.
~Don't remove their collar. I actually read this a few weeks prior. A friend had posted a blog from a vet tech saying the things they wished people knew when it came time to euthanize. At least in our home, when we took the collar off, it meant bath time and they were so excited when we put it back on! I would NEVER had thought of that and I'm not sure if I would've thought to remove it before she was euthanized but I was thankful to have read that.
Eric said it was harder to bury Missy than watch her be put down. He said it didn't seem right burying her and he said that he felt bad knowing she was there by herself. Cue the sobbing.... (of course I reminded him that she wasn't there, only her body) Emily carried her from the car (she was wrapped in a quilted blanket) which absolutely tore me up. I don't know if I could've done that. But I realized that we all did exactly what we could and were supposed to do that day. quilted blanket which was
15 years is a long time... Eric isn't really an animal lover like we are and honestly, I think this hit him the hardest. You just never know how people are affected.
In the end, it's such a tough decision but the animal's quality of life should be the most important. It was important for us that Missy not suffer. She was a rescue and lived a fantastic life. She followed me from room to room in the house, she was such a loyal animal. Was she annoying at times? Absolutely. But amazingly those annoying times disappear and you do only remember the good! Love your animals! They depend on you!
December 26, 2012 I lost a family friend to liver cancer. He was diagnosed January of 2012. I went to see Charlie in August, he got tired easily but was still going to work. It was a wonderful visit but on my drive from Columbus back to Michigan I had time to think about the fact that plans were being made for when he was no longer alive. I mean, his wife and I talked about this and the things that Charlie wanted to make sure were in place for her, trying to decide if they should sell their home because he didn't want her to have to take care of their large property, etc. Having the "I probably won't make it to the end of the year" conversation was very real. I had 3 hours to let this soak in and wondered how I, if given the same diagnosis, would handle it. Charlie took a hot air balloon ride, walked one of his daughters down the isle and connected with old friends. I went back to see Charlie December 9th and he wasn't doing very well. I felt certain that would be the last time I saw him alive. We didn't think he would make it the week. I had to be back in Columbus on Dec 17th with Emily and we went to see him again. He was so proud of my girls when we talked about their riding, Sarah being accepted to colleges and Emily interviewing for Internships. Before we left, Charlie told Teri that they needed to contact their neighbor who works for Limited Brands and put a good word in for Emily. That was Charlie, always thinking of others. That was to be my last hug and last goodbye to Charlie. He died 9 days later. Charlie was 57.
January 5, 2012 I just returned home from the viewing of the mother of a friend. Wendy's mother passed away on Wednesday. It was very fast. Wendy saw her mom at 10am Wed morning and she passed away at 11pm that night. I didn't know Wendy's mother but listening to Wendy talk about all the things her mother taught her and her love of horses and the plans they had of doing things together broke my heart. There was no time to make plans, no time for talking about what you would like to have done with your home, your animals, etc. It happened so fast. Wendy is still numb and in shock as anyone would be.
Death happens, none of us can avoid it. Will we ever be prepared? I don't think so, no matter how well we have things in order or how fast it happens, no one if fully prepared for death.
Hug your kids, your spouse, your parents, your friends. Stop and listen, really listen when they speak to you. I find myself half listening if I'm doing something else I think is more important. Nothing is more important than the relationships we have with those we love. I have promised myself to be in the moment when someone is talking to me. I hope you will too.
I just finished watching Chris on Fox & Friends talking about his newly released book. I will forever consider it a true blessing to have known Stefanie for 12 short years. I met Stefanie when we moved to Columbus, Ohio. I joined a women's group that raised money for the Children's Hospital. I believe it was 2-3 months after we joined this group that Stefanie was diagnosed with Breast Cancer.
I don't want to take anything away from the book and I'm not saying this because I know Chris and was friends with Stefanie but YOU NEED TO READ THIS BOOK! I don't even like football (sorry Chris) and I enjoyed reading those parts!!
Stefanie died the day after mine and Eric's 20th wedding anniversary. We were in Mexico celebrating when I got an email from a friend saying she had passed. I will never forget the plane ride home, it was at night and I was in the window seat. I had my eyes closed and I was praying for Chris, for their children and knowing that she was no longer in pain, I felt a calmness and a vision came into my mind of Stefanie wrapped in God's arms and I heard very clearly, "Job well done my faithful servant, job well done" That moment will stay with me forever and I'm thankful for knowing Stefanie.
Chris Spielman on Fox & Friends
http://www.foxnews.com/on-air/fox-friends/index.html#/v/1614657203001/chris-spielman-tackles-cancer/?playlist_id=86912
Link for the book:
http://www.amazon.com/Thats-Why-Im-Here-ebook/dp/B005PMY1MQ/ref=dp_kinw_strp_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2
And if you are on Facebook, simply search Chris Spielman and "Like" his page. You will be encouraged on a daily basis.
Live each day as if it were the last one you are given. We all fall short of this. Love others, show kindness, lend a hand. Offer encouraging words, be a positive example and think, "how do I want others to remember me?"
The bible verse Stefanie held on to:
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Thank you Stef for your friendship, thank you Chris for sharing so much of your life.
